day 310

Yesterday was great. The shopping trip to Brookings produced what we wanted. The dogs have a new cache of bones, Hollie picked up a few things, Kelle found what she wanted, and so did I. You can’t beat that! On the way back we had lunch at Sea West and enjoyed every bite. Then a long walk in spite of the cold wind. Today the senior news will be distributed along with a couple of errands. Very good days.

Day 309

The rain changed the plans yesterday and Kelle opted for reading while I was away. Later we walked in the rain to buy a bottle of Menage a trois wine as recommended by Sarah. Today we are going to meet Hollie and trek to Brookings with a stop in Smith River for Mexican lunch on the way back. I have a short list for freddy including dog bones and a look at the sale racks. Walking will happen too.

Day 308

     

Getting into routine today. Kelle will get up earlier than usual and we will get a long walk. Then I’ll get myself together for senior center duty and she will decide either to take me and keep the car for a visit to Walker Road, or sand the rust off the kerosene tank. That’s her project for this visit. The weeding in the little yard is on the list to get done before Rachel comes back on the first.

Day 307

It was a day of rest and relaxation. Today is damp outside but warm inside. I’m ready to make a list of chores and changes and see what happens. I want Kelle to get the rest she needs. Getting away from the rush and routine is healing for her. I have soup on the stove, bread ready for garlic butter. That’s dinner. Applewood smoked bacon is ready for breakfast along with the potatoes that didn’t bake yesterday, and eggs.

Day 306

The plane was late. Nothing unusual about that. There she was ready for a hug and a hamburger. Took care of both of those items quickly. Kelle settled in and we went for a long walk for a bottle of wine. Today we will shop for groceries and she will have a massage from Sarah. It’s good to have her here. She stimulates me and gets me moving. I started planning what places need to be sorted and changed.

Day 305

Wonderful Christmas family day! Started with Megan and her work friend picking me up at 7:30.  It was beautiful in Hiouch with the river sparkling in the sun. Breakfast was fragrant when we arrived, bacon in the oven while Hollie put the frittata together. We chatted and enjoyed being together. Later we packed up dogs and went to the beach for a long walk followed by making dinner. All good. This morning Kelle flies in for her 10^th visit.

Day 304

We had a wild squall just as Hollie was driving in for the shopping trip. Her wipers were turned on to the frantic setting!  Parmentier’s made my day with a plate of wonderful food. It was truly a care package. Today is cold and clear. Megan will pick me up for breakfast and later we’ll do the fixing for dinner. Church was OK last night. I wasn’t feeling festive or religious. I went out of a sense of obligation. 

Day 303

My muscles felt the weeding and it felt good. I have cleared spaces to show for the effort. Today Hollie and I will shop for tomorrow: Christmas breakfast in Hiouchi and dinner here. Traditionally we have bacon and maybe a frittata early followed by roast haunch of musk ox, otherwise known as roast beef, roasted root vegetables and Megan’s desert. She plans to make apple things wrapped in dough. The dogs will play with Butters. All good family fun.

Day 302

Foggy again. I did get a walk yesterday and it made a huge difference to my mood and my body. It’s amazing and frightening how fast muscles forget with a few days inside. I know it’s another of those aging things. Today I’m going to pull weeds in the little yard since Rachel is gone. It is overgrown in places. Those darn avocado trees are trying to revive and the sprouts are already three feet high. I’ll tame them.

Day 301

Dense fog and I’m prepared to get out and walk before I get ready for senior center duty. Cabin fever needs to be cleared away. Walking benefits my whole self. There are a couple of errands that have been waiting for attention such as butter from the creamery and finding a calendar with the whole of 2015 so that I can mark off the days. That’s a habit from long ago. I enjoy watching the year progress with gratitude.

Day 300

Nine hours and thirty-three minutes of daylight. Yes, the Solstice, the birthday of the Sun. Soon we will notice the minutes of light coming back and the gloom will rise and disappear. I did restock the larder yesterday with produce for vegetable soup and that was all. The constant rain and wind seemed to seep inside and I curled up again. Television has its place on days like that. I am feeling careless about how I’m living my life.

Day 299

After being flat all day yesterday, I’m looking forward to at least going to the grocery store. Mother Hubbard’s cupboard looms. I need fresh food in spite of the rain and wind and not feeling chipper. I’ve read the paper, had my coffee, made the bed, made a grocery list and that is a good start. I could write today, or doodle in the paper journal, or tidy up a drawer or two. I simply must move more today.

Day 298

I did show up and stayed for duty. Not much else. Not planning on any big deals today. It’s Chris’ birthday. I would not have the blog or the book without her patient help. I’m grateful for her friendship. I’m looking forward to Kelle’s visit next week. She wants to make plans. I want to be spontaneous. We’ll compromise. She wants a list of chores to do. I’m happy to comply. Her help is welcome. She gets me moving.

Day 297

I pushed myself yesterday. Am I unwell or depressed or something else? So, clean floors including the porches, wet orchids, clean bathroom and kitchen, and no, I didn’t feel any better when I was finished. Hope to get out for a walk before it rains again. I will get to the senior center for duty and stay today. Sitting here doesn’t make a difference so I may as well show up and be useful. Avoiding people is not good.

Day 296

Hoping for physical and mental energy today. Yesterday I wrote that the episode in August with Karen B. running around yelling that I was missing got into my consciousness and has caused me to doubt myself. I wondered, If someone is losing it, do they know it? Did I exhibit behavior that would lead to the conclusion that I could get lost walking down the street? I need to let that go and know that I am just fine.

Day 295

Had to come home from duty yesterday. Just didn’t feel well. Slept well and this morning I’m making plans to get out for errands and a walk. I hope the good feeling lasts today. Hollie suggested that I plug in the light therapy box and use it as it has sat alone since I cleared the table for Thanksgiving dinner. And I need vitamin D. The crackling candle helps in the early dark. Guess I’m admitting to seasonal depression.

Day 294

I basically write this daily synopsis of my life to have a book at the end of the year. Yesterday I browsed the 77 word book and it’s surprising how the few words can bring back the memory in full. The books will mean more than the words by adding images like the latest one with Megan. It’s not that I think my life is so great, it’s more that I want a record of its ups and downs.

Day 293

Spent the day flat and with netti pot treatments, baby shampoo to clean my eyes, and vicks on the bottoms of my feet, I slept well and feel just fine. I have respect for Megan’s entrance into Humboldt. She has a schedule that looks brutal and she will handle it. Love the haircut and her confidence. I remember those days when I was teaching, and still in college. Meant long busy days. I knew I would get my degree.

day 292

Woke up feeling sick. Eyes glued shut. Achy chest. Sneezing and coughing. Darn it all. It’s clear and cold outside and I was looking forward to getting outside. Maybe not now with cold symptoms. Yesterday I had good conversations with two old and dear friends. It matters to me to keep in touch and know how my friends are doing. I have promised myself that I would write to out of town friends and have not done so yet.

Day 291

Yesterday was a good one. Mother Nature rampaged around and exhibited a spectacular menu of her abilities. The senior center was fun and full of laughing people. Today I’ll go to the breakwater and watch the sea throw itself up and over the top. A little shopping and that’s the whole agenda. I want to write a letter to the editor about the good things that happened at the board of sups meeting. The paper usually reports the opposite.

day 290

Things banged and blew around all night and the pressure changes made my ears feel weird. Poor Minnie spent the night in her cave, aka my closet. How do I explain that it’s outside and she is safe inside. Today I will go to the senior center for duty as one whole day inside is enough. I did have telephone conversation and paced but aside from the early morning foray into the wind, I sat and stared at television.

day 289

The birds are walking today. Too windy to fly. It’s a warm pineapple storm event with the humidity at uncomfortable levels. Walking is exhilarating and blows the cobwebs out of my brain. The board of sups meeting yesterday was long and interesting. I enjoy knowing the people involved and their part in our government. Today I’ll simply stay inside while nature rages her way from north to south. I can poke around and find a place to tidy up.

Day 288

Megan waited and anticipated the day she could finally register for classes at HSU and was frustrated by the red tape. Here’s hoping she gets it straightened out and on the road again. Both Hollie and I took longer than usual to get our degrees so she is following in our footsteps. Today is windy. Makes the first half of the walk more strenuous than coming home. I’ll sail with the wind at my back. A good day coming.

Day 287

I asked for anointing and prayer in church. I am not getting the upswing I need by myself so maybe Spirit will drop by and give me a lift. I want a walk this morning before breakfast. It’s a break in the rain followed by days of showers and rain. Need to get out when I can. Maybe I will take the dogs to the park later. Sure want dry days while Kelle is here. We have many plans.

day 286

I did get half a walk. I went to get dark chocolate. That’s what I wanted. The day was slow and I’m ready for an upswing. The energy line goes up and down like a roller coaster. I want to write another personal essay. I shared the one about what aging means to me and I will fill that one with examples. I want to add to the one I wrote about Gene and Wendell for the church newsletter. 

Day 285

Dr. E. says my retina is stable, no new tears or holes. I don’t have to go back for four months and then for a pressure check. I waited a long time in the office. It’s unusual as he runs a tight ship or an efficient assembly line operation. It took a long time for my eyes to recover. Today I’ll get out for a walk, and then play house. I enjoy simply straightening out cupboards, drawers, and closets.

day 284

I did get ¾ of my walk. Felt good. The day was full of people, conversation, and fun. Today is for appointments beginning with Tracy, the chiropractor, to straighten me out, and then Dr. E. for my annual eye exam. After that, I will just come home as it is difficult to see for a couple of hours. I like a day with people and activity. That’s why I’m looking around for a new volunteer placement for next year.

Day 283

My whole self felt tired yesterday. Except for lunch with Chris, I was flat. It’s disappointing to have a day with little movement. I did call Anthem about their pdp and directv about giving me a promotion to lower my bill. Aside from that it was movie day with lap dogs. Watched The Great Gatsby and Saving Mr. Banks. Both worth the time. Today I will push myself to at least walk around the block. I need daily exercise.

An aside

As I caparisoned shopped for a prescription drug plan, I encountered a representative who was chatty along with his information. I had my questions ready as it was the third place I called. His first ageist remark was, “Are you sure you are almost 80?” Yes, why? “You don’t sound that old.” How is 80 supposed to sound? After I collected the information I requested, I thanked him for his service. Second ageist remark, “It was my pleasure to talk with someone intelligent.” That’s when I asked him, Did you job description mention that you would be talking to medicare recipients? Weren’t you expecting to talk to old people? Guess what? Old doesn’t mean feeble or stupid. I know the conversation was recorded. I hope someone in a supervisory position listened.

The encounter brought up to me what it means to be an “old person.” I am grateful for gaining the wisdom to use my words in ways that state clearly what I want and need to be understood. I am softly giving up needs that don’t fit and embracing the empty place with simple pleasures. I don’t need to explain myself. No excuses need to be given and if I say NO to a request that is followed by a pregnant pause from the asker, I make no effort to fill in the blank. I have owned my history, owned my limitations comfortably and know where and how to use my energy, skills, and interests. Work on my personal attitudes and behaviors are  private conversations with God. I know how I would like to live my life and keep goals simple enough to maintain by myself. I have no unfinished dreams. Life as it is is satisfying. I am open to whatever comes next without expectations, anxiety, or anticipation. Just go along with the flow and trust the natural process, no pushing the river, no cloud castles, friends and tea and cookies, and meaningful conversation make life precious. That’s what aging means to me.

Day 282

It made my head tired and I didn’t get anywhere. Lots of phone calls that didn’t connect me with information. I may just give up and stick with what I already have. Something tells me that there is no bargain plan. In the end the cost will be the same no matter which plan I choose. Today will be a wonderful change with lunch with Chris at Sea West. Looking forward to her company along with the delicious food.

Day 281

Sorting papers looking for a receipt. I think I have a good filing system until I have to find a specific paper. Now I have categories clipped together in order and still didn’t find the one date and amount I need. So, I guess it’s phone time and the inevitable press 1, hold, etc. until I get a human to answer my question. All the insurance issues and premiums take up time and energy. I’d like to simplify it.

day 280

December begins. Darkest days. My woodwick candle crackles and dances, It feels alive like a fire in the cave chasing shadows onto the walls. Kelle comes on the darkest week and brightens the atmosphere with her energy and ideas. I have a list for us to accomplish while she is here. Today I’ll get a walk, distribute senior news, and put the down comforter on the bed. Cold nights are back. Big red coat is out of the closet.

Senior News

The holiday season is difficult for many of us. The crowded stores full of decorations, music, displays, and hurrying people can be overwhelming. Some of us, like me, no longer have to fill a gift list. There are no small children left and few relatives that share festivities. I stay away from photographs of past Christmases and the memories of excited youngsters tearing in the beautifully wrapped packages of specially selected gifts. It’s a time when I miss my own childhood and think fondly of my parents and their efforts for our holidays. It’s dark outside, short winter days and long cold nights. It’s time to bring out the arsenal for survival.

Put on some lively music and dance! It is impossible to be sad and in motion at the same time. Eat well. Remember the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. A recipe for depression is sugar, junk food, and TV.  Spend time in a way that feels good at the end of the day. Connect with phone calls, send e-mail, get interested in a new project, clean out the junk drawer, or read the biography. Take care of the body with massage, facials, pedicures, and make-up. Get a silly movie and laugh hard or a sad movie and cry hard. Tears are healing. Take a look through dresser drawers and throw out unmatched socks, stretched out underwear, stained shirts, all those clothes that take up space.

This year I am embracing the holidays.  It is easier to accept the inevitable than to fight it. I am making my home cozier –bright colored pillows, lighting scented candles such as cinnamon, apple, or pumpkin pie. To bring the season indoors, I am investing in small touches of the holidays—a snow globe, a pine cone, or a tiny live tree. I plan to keep something "cozy" on the stove -- soup or pot roast. Or something in the crockpot to stew away and scent my home. Or seasonal baked goods – sugar cookies, pumpkin pie or cider in a pot with cinnamon sticks, cloves, and orange peel. I like bath therapy with candles, music—and then slathering on cream before slipping into bed complete with brightly colored sheets and pillows.
When I'm in the dumps, I find that doing service, like volunteering, brings me a feeling of well-being.
I am getting out the rake to pile up some leaves. It gets the blood circulating, and it smells like childhood. I just might jump into the pile.
There is no benefit from simply reading this. Nothing moves until something moves.

Day 279

The turkey carcass went into the stockpot and I have plenty to freeze and use now. Soup is the best part of the turkey. Hollie took home the left-overs and Chuck cleaned out the attic in the little house where there was evidence of a rodent. All clean now as are the blankets etc. that are stored there. We made plans for updating the back porch and a future kitchen remodel. It’s such a cozy comfortable space for guests.

Day 278

The day after the day after T-Day. I snacked on left-overs all day yesterday. Today I’ll dismantle the turkey and work on broth and soup. But first I’ll get a long walk and distribute few senior news along the way. I had fun cleaning out cupboards and drawers and moving items to more convenient places. It is interesting how I noticed things differently after Hollie and Megan used the kitchen. I’m tall and I put some things too high.

Day 277

It was a very good day for our family beginning with the preparations and the whole day of snacks, laughs, and feeling close. Della messed up by sneaking the lettuce wraps and sneaking out of the yard. Everyone else joined in with the work and play. Chuck and Megan took care of the mouse holes in the little house and plans were made to repair the back deck. Altogether a satisfying and delicious day. Meg’s pie was a masterpiece. 

Day 276

The goodies are waiting for action. The turkey is the right size for enjoyment and a minimum of leftovers, lots of stuffing, potatoes, vegetables, and the assorted go-withs that we have to have by tradition. Megan and Hollie will come over about 11 to begin the process so I have time to walk first. It’s cloudy but no rain yet. Thanksgiving is our favorite family day and we do it up well. I will enjoy every crumb and laugh.

Day 275

Yesterday kind of fizzled out. The meeting was brief and uneventful. Dr. E.’s office called and changed the appointment till next week, the afternoon activities didn’t happen as I had an energy slump followed by a migraine. This morning Hollie and Megan and I will do the thanksgiving dinner shopping together. That will be fun. I want an early walk before we go. Rain is lined up and will start its parade tonight. I want shoes for wet walks.

Day 274

Rioting is happening and I don’t understand how looting and burning makes a difference. I’m glad I don’t understand. Today is Board of Supervisors meeting. I am finding the meetings interesting and informative. I’m ready to write another letter of support for the businesslike behavior of four of them. I’m also tired of the triplicate’s negative op-ed page. Then Dr. E. will dilate my eyes and check the retina. I want another stable report. I’ll start with a walk.

Day 273

I type the day and think how fast time goes by. We did visit yesterday: the new Big 5 store, crowded with lookers, wild rivers market, grocery outlet, and safeway. Came home with a couple of bags filled with necessities. The fun shopping with be Wednesday morning with Megan as we plan for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s the only holiday we celebrate and we do it well. Birthdays get family attention too and we leave all the Hallmark holidays alone. 

Day 272

Tidied up a bit yesterday. The oven was needy and I want it to be fresh for the turkey next week. It’s important to me to have my house neat and clean when people arrive. What happens after that is OK. We can clutter up and leave crumbs. I will get out this morning for another long walk. I love starting the morning on my feet. Makes the whole day go better. After church maybe Hollie will visit us.

day 271

The meatloaf was giant and will last past delicious sandwiches. I’ll freeze a bunch to use in sauces. Three meats and five vegetables went into it. The rain and wind kept me inside and today looks like I can get out for a walk between showers. I miss walking. I like knowing that I am strengthening my bones with every step. The fitbit is motivating too. I like seeing a number over 5K by the end of the day. 

Day 270

Awakened at 4 AM by flashing lights. Today rain is forecast again and I’m planning to get an early walk anyway. Shopping will follow and a day inside with no agenda. There are places that call for attention that I may ignore such as that dark corner cupboard in the kitchen. Might be a good idea as next week we’ll be fixing T-day dinner and easy access to pots and pans is important. Today I’ll make a vegetable meatloaf.

Day 269

It was a pleasant event. Jackie was waiting for us and we saw all the amenities at the hotel before going to the Abalone Grill for lunch. Jackie ordered a Klamath Sunrise for me and it knocked my socks off! We each had a different dish: Hollie had an oyster poor boy, Megan had a salmon sandwich, I had a bacon hamburger, and Jackie had egg rolls. All the dishes were delicious. The décor is beautiful with Yurok themes.

Day 268

Today is a new experience. Hollie and I are going to Klamath to meet Jackie and have a tour of the new hotel/casino and have lunch at the Abalone Grill. Jackie is a gaming commissioner. Megan is planning to drive up to have lunch with her mom while Jackie and I catch up with our news. Hollie wants to check out the games. Rain is forecast so I asked Hollie to drive. I don’t see well on darkish days. 

Day 267

A satisfying day has conversations, hugs, plans, and variety. Today will have those ingredients. Starting with a walk, breakfast of kale, avocado, humus on whole wheat pita, tea with Carol, lots of hugs here, then Sarah Caron is coming on her lunch hour to visit and catch up, followed by a massage with Karen Rath. Ahh, lovely plan. Yesterday Grecia and I discussed what leadership means. I’m not sure I want the responsibility. More when I learn the expectations.

Day 266

Dog groomer, water orchids, laundry, walk, senior center duty, meet with Grecia about True North, and that takes until 2 PM. Good thing I feel well in the first half of the day. Two long conversations yesterday with Megan and Kelle. Megan is working her way into an authentic life. It has taken time to sort out the Shane episode. It takes work to see the experience and her part in it. Kelle is moving toward a neater life.

Day 265

By 3 PM yesterday I was able to make soup and wander around picking things up and putting them back down. The day felt a week long. I did watch reruns of Blue Bloods. Tom Selleck lumbers and frowns his way through fixing situations and people. I enjoy the four generation scenes. Today will start with a good long walk. Church is my only activity. I have a busy week coming up and I want to enjoy every minute.

Day 264

Woke up sick at 3 AM. After coffee and imitrex I am modestly improved. The chair with two warm bodies on my lap and my fuzzy blanket are all I want right now. Yesterday I made plans for next week. I’ll meet with Grecia on Monday after senior center duty. Wednesday Hollie and I will go to Klamath to meet Jackie, tour of the new hotel-casino and have lunch in the abalone grill. I’m pleased to connect with Jackie. 

Day 263

Yesterday I found out about blight court. I want to see the outcome of the neighborhood issue, the garbage and the overtall fence. I’m hoping the court has the power to make a permanent change in the neighbor’s behavior regarding accumulating trash. What I would really like to see is a moving van over there. People who want to live without regard to others would be happier out in the woods somewhere. Meanwhile, I’ll keep my own lifestyle appropriate.

Day 262

Another night of house hunting. I want to go back to look at a house to count the rooms. I want lots of rooms. Yesterday was the best one in a long time. Long walk, two stores for necessities, conversations. Today is senior center duty and hoping for connections. The Domestic Goddess was at work yesterday and the house is clean and neat so I’ll have to do something this afternoon. Maybe play with the new zentangle patterns.

Day 261

I did go out yesterday morning but it did not resemble exercise, more a short stroll. I want more! What can I do? Tonda says be patient and I’m short on that too. Today I’ll push and see what happens. Good phone conversations happened. I like contacts, exchanges of greetings, news, and information. I’ll hear from Grecia about True North’s next project. Maybe I’ll have a place there. I need stimulating activity. Too much time alone is not good.

Day 260

Last night I dreamed of houses and wanting to move. My nights are busy with change scenarios but the days are routine. I hope for more go-power today as I was too flat yesterday to even go for a walk. It’s very discouraging to put on my coat, walk down the front steps, then turn around and go back inside. Some days I simply don’t have anything to work with. I did drain the hot-tub and water the orchids.

Day 259

Pondered the reverse nature of three nights of dreams. I am overlooking a need for newness in the form of a project or connection. I’ll stay open to signals. I seem to notice negative sorting more than attending to the positive. I know what I don’t want to do/be/have strongly and tend to tiptoe about possibilities. Yesterday I met the new True North organizer. She wants me to come to the brainstorming meeting. There might be a place there.

Day 258

      

Third night with “full moon” dreams. The first one: I have a baby and don’t know how to take care of it. I ask everyone what to feed her. I am dazed by the responsibility. Second: I want to get pregnant and am looking for a partner. A dream of seeking a new life. The third one: I find a partner and want to start a baby and he leaves. What am I looking for? I like my life.

Day 257

Energy lasted until 12 noon but the morning was wonderful and I start at 5 AM. Walking alone and with the dogs, shopping, conversations along the way, meeting, greeting, hugs. Can’t beat it. I did get 10 K+ steps and the intense steps were below where I want them to be. I can’t walk fast until my breathing deepens. Having a visible goal is motivating. I will repeat the positive attitude today and enjoy the day as it is.

Day 256

The moon is spectacular. I stood outside and stared even though it was 42 degrees. I’m so happy that the clouds parted and there it was. Tonda told me to have patience. She reminded me how long I had been slip sliding away and, at my age, it does take longer. I am doing all the things my body needs to restore itself and that takes time. I need to celebrate the days when my energy lasts past noon!

Day 255

My candidate, Eric, is the new sheriff. I prefer to pay attention to local politics. At least I can understand what’s going on here. Not so much in the wider scene. Today is senior center lunch duty where I get to add compliments and comments to our diners in hopes of making their day brighter. It’s my job there. Later, Tonda wants to see me. It’s been ten months since I’ve been to the doctor. We communicate well together.

Day 254

I wrote the December Senior News column yesterday about surviving the holidays. Since I have a habit of doing whatever it is that I suggest, I’m looking forward to having wooden-wick candles to crackle and light up the early dark. I stay out of stores until after Christmas except to dash for groceries. Just can’t tolerate the hype, crowds, noise, and the frantic energy that drives some people. Our family tradition has always been low key and without stress.

Day 253

Yesterday went with no flashes of insight into my restless mood. Kelle called to suggest we find a creative project together while she is here. Maybe we will drive to Bandon and poke through their shops for an idea. I had a conversation about blight court and that the neighbors would probably be on the agenda. Not sure I want to be there and I want to know the outcome of the complaint. May a bright light shine today.

Day 252

Monday again. I want something new today, a new person, new activity, new interest in an old activity, something! I’m feeling stuck. Not domestic activity. A stimulating conversation would help. New ideas, new project. I’m waving my antennae at the Universe. My job is to stay conscious and open to opportunities that fly by. And they have to match my physical energy which is a sometime thing. This restlessness usually means I’m getting healthier. Maybe I will write goals.

Day 251

Yesterday’s early energy disappeared and I did get the cobwebs vacuumed from the porches. The day was spurts of doing followed by sitting. The walk was short and slow but I was outside walking. Today is All Saints Day at church. I’ll find a photo of Wendell to add since it was he who took me to St. Paul’s in the first place. No other agenda. I could write goals for November. That feels like a waste of time.

Day 250

Yesterday was the best one in the whole month! Had the senior news distributed by noon and puttered, long talk with Eileen, dug potatoes, pulled a few weeds. All good. Today is the last farmers’ market and I will miss the socializing and the fresh produce. The Russian red kale was my favorite this season. Makes a delicious salad with lemon and garlic. I’ll start the month with a brisk walk. The moon and stars tell the 44 degrees.

Senior News

Cultivate imagination, day dream. Buy a pack of crayons or colored pencils and doodle on a pad of paper. It’s fun to make random patterns or learn to zentangle. Sitting in front of the TV could be a time for exploring lines and spaces. Cut out magazine pictures and make a collage. That’s fun too. All it takes is scissors and paste. Find a time for silence.

Remember fantasies from childhood. Did you want to grow up to be and artist or a poet? It’s never too late to get started. Find a class that piques your interest. Be open to what’s going on in the community. Like to swim? Join a group and remember how much fun it is to be in the water. It’s good for socializing while exercising.

Eat new foods. Find new recipes. Share with friends. They probably have a favorite that they want to share with you. Better yet, share a meal. The produce workers will tell you about uses for vegetables that may not be familiar. Take a close look at the shelves on aisles you may not regularly see. There are choices that can spice up your cooking. Be bold.

Associate with creative people and brain storm ideas for projects individually or as a group. Visit art galleries and museums to see what makes you curious. Research is a creative process. Once I took art lessons at a gallery with children. It was a great way to learn the different art media and the kids didn’t mind that I was a bit older than they were.

Take a risk and find a new volunteer placement. Use your skills and talents in new ways with new people. Find out what’s available that suits your time and talents. Look some place that is completely different from anything you have already done. That’s the way to expand your experience of your community. Most non-profits depend on volunteers to provide their services. They are looking for you.

Exercise. Walking can be creative. Walk on different streets, take a camera, notice  seasonal changes. Get familiar with new neighborhoods. Invite a friend to walk with you. Find a walking group. Yoga will start you where you are. Yoga promotes a flexible mind in a flexible body. There are exercise classes at most senior centers that are free and fun while getting fit.

As long as we are alive, we are creative. 

Day 249

It’s Halloween, with an A. I must get over loudly correcting people who think it’s a hollow ween. And gonna is here to stay. Oh well, I guess I still love English when it is spoken well. Not a good month for health progress. Too many short activity days and lack of energy. I have things I want to do without push to get them done. Mind wants stimulation and new opportunities and right now I can’t follow through. 

Day 248

Two deep conversations yesterday. Chris and I talked about the mismatch in our perception of last Monday’s brief remarks as I left with the men to write and sign the complaint. I flinched from her tone and know now that both of us were showing our fear of the lawless neighbor. Barbara and I had an hour of heart-to-heart conversations. She is one of the blessings that come from volunteering. She is my play and dream friend and editor.

Day 247

I will admit that most of the meeting was tedious or was that my headache that made it seem so. Of course, I learned a lot of new info and that keeps me going back. Julia came to visit and brought her humor and energy with her. Nice friendly break. The Giants game was so bad that I went to bed at 8 and slept well. Woke up with no headache. Today I’ll get a long walk between showers.

Day 246

The garbage was removed from across the street. So were the people, in handcuffs. I wonder what was found besides the seven month accumulation of trash. I feel satisfied that I did the right thing by signing the complaint. The neighbors did nothing but gossip and complain. Today is board of supervisors meeting. I will thank Jay for guiding me through the maze of departments. The senior center was given an $11000 anonymous donation to keep the doors open.

Day 245

I want another day like yesterday. I felt connected to Spirit in church, felt physically well, walked twice, and the giants won. Today I will walk before senior center duty and take the dogs for a walk when I come home. It’s the one day this week with a dry forecast. I am ready to move forward in the direction of wellness and participation. I need a new volunteer placement. Some place where I interact with people, not paper.

Day 244

Seven hours without electricity provided the perfect opportunity for the above activity. Except for the first hour of pacing and feeling free fall, the day went by with writing and deep thoughts. I sat on the porch to write since the light was better there. The heavy rain and wind provided an interesting landscape. At times the J street river actually flowed uphill from the gusty winds. Thankfully I did get warm food, warm house, and the Giants game.

day 243

I did get out yesterday and today is doubtful. I don’t mind the rain but the high wind is more than I feel like dealing with today. In fact, I don’t feel like dealing with anything outside today. The agenda is looking inside the house and myself and see what is really there without overlooking the corners and behind the doors. I have questions about how I’m living my life and what I need to do to change course.

Day 242

Need something new today. Hoping there is a break in the rain that will allow a walk. I did get a brief walk yesterday and I miss the long block. It’s the best thing I can do for my bones besides kale. Haven’t written in the paper journal for a week and I need to put down the events around the neighborhood problem and how I’m feeling about the whole experience. I’m unsettled about parts of it. Get busy.

Day 241

Woke up feeling well. It was a wet and windy night. All I have on the agenda is senior center duty. Yesterday I made a pork, pesto, pasta with onion, garlic, celery, and cabbage. It was soo good that I ate the whole thing. I fix delicious and nutritious meals. There is cayenne pepper around the foundation and in the garden shed. Here’s hoping it deters the rat problem until the source is cleaned up. I want self-responsible neighbors.

Day 240

 I am weary today. Not much restful sleep. Even though I am comfortable with the above episode, it would be stronger with solidarity. Today I may go around and ask the others to sign complaints also. There have been issues ever since Tyler moved in beginning with the “car lot”, the dog in the street, the chickens, the horse, the stockade fence, the garbage, and the rats. Karen’s massage was healing. Hot stones and reiki helped restore my balance.

Day 239

The antidote for feeling helpless is action. Yesterday I pushed through the maze of county departments and signed the complaint against the neighbor both for the garbage and the stockade fence. Everyone in the neighborhood complained and gossiped but no one would step up because of fear of retaliation from the guy. His irresponsible behavior needs to feel the weight of law. I have made it clear that if anything untoward goes on, look there first. I stood up.

Day 238

Not the supervisor, the county administrative officer. Jeanene gave me a special phone number. Today we will get some relief from the neighborhood problem. The Adventist class was good, as usual. They provide samples of all the recipes in the booklet and I tasted every one. It was breakfast class and I already eat a good breakfast. It’s fun to see alternatives and I like hot cereal for dinner too. The idea is to fill it with nutritious extras.

Day 237

Hollie gave me a pep talk about not stressing over things that I can’t fix. I do what I can and other things, like the neighbors garbage, are not controllable. I’m sorry that Rachel is upset by the rats. I’m sure Fort Knox has rats. Anyway, if nothing happens tomorrow, I will contact the supervisor. That is something I can do. Today after church I’m going to a vegan breakfast class at the Adventist church. I enjoy their classes. 

Day 236

The first hour yesterday was good. From then on it went downhill fast. Headache, vertigo, frustration that nothing has been done about the garbage across the street, more reports of rats in the neighborhood, then True North didn’t show up at the senior center or call or in any way explain their absence. I did get a good hair cut and had the rest of the wonderful chicken soup. Oh well. There are days like that. Today is new.

Day 235

Today I will go back to the senior center as a True North representative. We will be registering anyone who isn’t already a voter. I want the seniors to see the True North people and hope for interaction and questions. Never know how they will act. Seniors will be seniors. Later I will get my hair trimmed. At this length it tends to grow out instead of down and looks bushy. First a walk and breakfast. Life is good.

Day 234

Megan and Butters visited yesterday. The dogs were the focus of our attention. Della wanted to go home with Butters. Guess I need another dog. We had lunch and talked. Very pleasant. Today is senior center duty after a walk and a quick once over in the house. I intend to do the five minute housekeeping routine. It works by looking back before leaving a room. Seeing the vee of geese forming yesterday was a treat for the soul.

Day 233

Had the new kid feeling at the True North meeting yesterday. Reverted to child behavior and sat on the edge of the group and watched. They had a mutual public service experience and were debriefing. I liked the interaction and the infectious optimism. It was noisy with good noise, laughing and calling to each other. I met new people and like the intentions of the group. I’m looking forward to finding my place and adding to the positive energy. 

Day 232

Start with a $17.35 organic chicken. Put it whole in the slow cooker with garlic, lemon and ginger. Smell the aroma for four hours or so. Add potatoes, carrots, onions, and any other fresh vegetables.  Pluck out delicious portions and enjoy. Later, take out the chicken and reduce it to bones, pick out the edibles for the dogs, and save the meat for other meals. The juices make remarkable soup. In my opinion, the best part of the chicken.

Day 231

I want another good day. Yesterday was full and I enjoyed every minute of it. I know I’m restoring my body when I can do more, enjoy the people, activities, and connections. Today, after a walk, I will pull weeds along the fence line. The vines from next door choke my plants. Rain is forecast for tomorrow so I want to get yard cleaning done today. Chicken soup is on the menu complete with produce from the farmers’ market.

Day 230

The Giants won the first game of the play-offs and could go all the way. I’m superstitious about saying it out loud. Butters survived poisoning and Megan survived also. It’s awful when our animals are sick. Megan was comforted by a stranger who knew the fear that she was feeling. Hugs may not cure anything but they sure make a human connection like nothing else will. Today after church, I will go to the voter registration project. Busy day.

Day 229

I enjoyed the one-to-one with Grecia and learned a lot about how True North works. I want to participate and will go tomorrow to help with voter registration. I like new experiences that are about service as it is one of my basic values. Service and new people, new uses of my time and skills, and the good feeling at the end of a productive day. Today I’m after carrots and potatoes at the farmers’ market. Only two left.

Day 228

Ready for a real day with new ideas, new contacts, new energy. I will meet Grecia and learn about True North and all its projects. I know I will fit in somewhere. I look forward to meeting new people and having new duties. Megan is excited about starting at HSU next semester. It is time for her to get serious about her future. I’ll start the day with a walk. I did make 10K steps including the dog walk.

Day 227

Ready to connect with True North and the voter registration project. I will meet Grecia tomorrow and see how I can fit into the group. Yesterday I had an invitation to get back into a police uniform with the citizen patrol. New places and reupping old ones are coming my way. Now my body needs to get busy and make it possible to participate. Feeling good this morning. Did get out for a walk with the dogs. New day.

Day 226

Oh well, so yesterday didn’t get started. Not well. Today will be better and I can get to yesterday’s agenda. Days are so long when I don’t feel well. Endless. And then it’s bedtime again and I can pray for a good sleep and waking up well. It is longer between down times. I missed my massage with Sarah who makes me feel better. She has magic fingers as does Karen. Both women are on my list of healers.

Day 225

Getting the voter registration underway. Other than that bit of progress, it was another low energy afternoon. I want my morning intentions to last all day. I’m missing out on activities I would like to participate in. And I know I am improving. Just impatient to have a full life after so many years of low health. Today, a good walk and writing. Want to finish the column for senior news and submit it. I like to be early.

Day 224

Yesterday was flat. I have such good energy for the first few hours and am ready to spend a productive day and wham, all gone. I did have phone conversations but didn’t do what I wanted to do. Today has started slow with a headache. The imitrex is kicking in and I’ll get my shoes on soon. At the senior center, I will contact with the director regarding voter registration. Pat will contact the high school for registering seniors.

Day 223

Even in the heat yesterday I did get past the 10K steps mark by moving more inside. It’s not exactly exercise but it’s not sitting either. I got out early to walk and also to the farmers’ market. It’s hot again today and my walk will be as soon as the sun comes up. I do have plans for walking in the afternoon with the dogs. Today my agenda is church and connecting with people by phone or e-mail.

Day 222

The fitbit is showing me activity patterns that I already know and have prompted me to make a change in my daily routine. Mornings are great. Anything that is going to get done, gets done early: housework, walking for exercise, writing, planning, and working on how I live my life. What I want to change is the long hours of nothing that begin at noon. I need to find a way to keep active longer. I can do it.

Day 221

Again today I will get out early. I kept the house cool yesterday. I don’t enjoy heat. No agenda except work on the next column for senior news. I have the bud of an idea on the theme, creativity. The challenge is saying enough in 400 words. Barbara used to cut me slack and I could go over. Kathy, not so much. I had conversations yesterday at senior center duty that showed me that I make a difference there.

Day 220

Spending time with Chris and Carol is always a blessing. Carol is gearing up for her stay in Seattle and we will stay in touch while she is undergoing treatment. It was a warm day and today will be warmer. The early walk will start the day. It’s senior center duty. I like Thursdays as Boon Dock Band is there and it’s a mellower crowd for lunch. Will get to the  county clerk’s office for more voter registration forms.

Day 219

October already. Time flies and all those other old sayings. This morning I’ll back up the computer, catch up in my journal, and finish distributing downtown senior news. At 1 I will meet with Chris and Carol. Carol is leaving for Seattle the for health treatments that she has been waiting for. We want to spend time together and wish her well. It will be a warm day and I’ll do my walk early. I’m enjoying the early mornings.

Day 218

Today the senior news gets distributed around town. I enjoy the route. I took the senior center and CCIM papers yesterday. The dogs like riding around with me and barking. They are the car alarm. I will walk first and add lots of walking later. Megan’s one year anniversary as assistant manager at tin can mailman. She is in a good place emotionally too. I hope she hears from HSU soon and can begin to plan for her future.

day 217

     

Monday again. I enjoyed church yesterday. I am connected to the community and to all that means. Kelle sounds better after the week of her Grandmother’s funeral. She had a weekend away to begin her new life. Today I will begin the day with a walk, clean up for duty, and be ready to have a good day. I have ideas popping and recognize that I don’t want to initiate any new projects and I do want to participate.

Day 216

I have a nutritious bounty from the farmers’ market. Two great walks although I will admit to walking home from the market in granny gear. It’s OK. I was out and walking. Hope to repeat walks today after church. Just a few mundane items: water the orchids and give them a pep talk about growing stems of beauty, clean the hot tub filter, and pull a few weeds from the rose garden. It will be a another good day.

Day 215

So, yesterday was flat. It’s OK. About once a week I need a day off. A while back I had short days where my energy was gone before noon. A busy week that went into the evening is wonderful and I am grateful that my restoration is allowing me to interact more often and with enjoyment. Today I will walk, long and steady, do a few errands, and go to the farmers’ market too. My journal wants a doodle.

Day 214

It was a long and productive day. I was ready to sleep at 8:30 and promptly went off to dreamland. Until 2:30. No more sleeping. Today the senior news will arrive. I will not distribute them until next Tuesday, the 30^th. I’m hoping for a quiet day  and may need a nap. The reclaimed energy is wonderful. Full days with people and activity is the way I want to live my life. I know I am restoring my body.

Day 213

I did walk yesterday and came home dripping wet to the skin. Loved it. Smiled all day. Mara arrived and we prepared for tonight’s dinner at the church. She is great. I’m so happy that I asked her to stay here. Today, when I get home from the senior center duty, we will glean apples from the church tree and then visit the labyrinth next door. We had a long walk this morning and now I’m ready for anything.

Day 212

Gitlin’s plan flopped and we were happy that his toadies didn’t show. People are beginning to see who he is. The massage with Karen was wonderful. Today is the last day of museum duty. I will not go back in the spring. I’m through. The streets are shiny and the gutters are full. The air is fresh and warm. May not get a walk as much as I’d like to or I may bundle up and enjoy the storm.

Day 211

Board of Supervisors’ meeting this morning. We have a heads-up that Gitlin is going to stage another act. Want to be there along with Elizabeth and Karen. It is interesting to watch reactions and group dynamics. The senior center was noisy yesterday. People are getting used to no salad bar. The noise goes up around the time the salad would have been served. I said it was like feeding time at the zoo. I’ll get another good walk early.

Day 210

Half and half day. The Autumnal Equinox. Time to get out the candles, fill the oil lamps, and prepare to enter the dark time by a few minutes a day. I look forward to Kelle’s visit between Christmas and New Year’s as it distracts from the darkest time. I had two walks yesterday. One before church, one after with the dogs. Today is senior center duty. I wanted my two days back and now I have them. I’ll walk again.

Day 209

Wasn’t well yesterday and had a couple of bright spots in the gray day. Hollie brought me pears from the market and Megan called with her news. I am blessed. Today is better. I slept well and no headache or visual disturbances so maybe I can have another good day. After church I want to get out and walk, maybe with the dogs. Sitting a whole day makes me sore. Not a way I like to use my time.

Day 208

The fitbit is synced now thanks to Art who sat by me as I we reconnected the install. Still not sure how it will help my health goal but I’m working at it. The senior center was unhappy yesterday as Florence died and there were lots of tears. She was 94 and volunteered until last week. She had a good life. Today I’m walking to the farmers’ market to find pears again. Maybe squash. I’ll see what’s seasonable now.

Day 207

Can’t get the fitbit to sync. I may take it back. Spent frustrating time as I often do with new tech stuff. There is no 800 support and no glossary of terms so I don’t know what I need to do. Oh well, my step counter has served with no computer linkup. I did walk yesterday in the humid hot day. The expected rain didn’t happen. After the good day on Wednesday, yesterday was the opposite. Ups and downs.

Day 206

The rain dance finally paid off! Love the fresh smell and I know the plants are doing a happy dance down to their roots. Yesterday was great: new shoes, new shirt, new crossword books, dog bones, and fitbit. Everything that was on the list and Hollie’s company too. Today is an inside day except I may walk the new shoes to the post office for their maiden voyage. I need my feet to be comfortable. It’s a Pisces thing.

Day 205

Yesterday was another good one. Had energy all day long. Visited with Ky and Julia, had lunch with Chris, and took care of business. Today Hollie and I are going to Brookings. I have to find walking shoes that fit my feet and have room for the orthotics. We will dink around and find things we didn’t know we wanted until we saw them. Hoping for a new top or two. My clothes are boring. Needed showers are expected.

Day 204

Yesterday was a good day. I was busy, active, useful, enthusiastic, and feeling well! All in one day. I was called in for senior center duty and managed to get there on time, had the laundry done, floors mopped, dogs groomed, new crown in place, and rarin’ to go. So, this morning I’m a bit tired. It’s OK. Yesterday was who I want to be every day. I am progressing and I get greedy for more wellness. Good life.

Day 203

Half past September already. Cooler nights. Today while the dogs are being groomed, I get the crown for my tooth. It was loose yesterday. Good timing since it’s gone today. No agenda. Hope for another long walk with or without dogs or maybe two walks. Maybe Chris will want to go to Brookings today. I still need walking shoes and we want to investigate fit-bits. I know it’s time to get busy with PT exercises. I have the tools.

Day 202

Intentional walking yesterday netted 7171 steps. I don’t count house steps. It was a good day for walking, doing errands, and visiting. I did get bosc pears, green beans, green and yellow scallop squash. Jon brought a huge slice of many layered coconut cake. My neighbors share so much with me. They share their garden, labyrinth, their time and attention. I love them. Talked to other neighbor John about cleaning up the northside fence. I want a new one.

Day 201

Fog down to the ground, eerie light, cold. I will bundle up later to walk to the farmers’ market. Hope there are still pears from Kerbyville. Then what? Don’t want to sit all day. I could clean out the book shelves. Been waiting for a rainy day but since we don’t seem to have any in the near future, could have it for a fog day. Could peruse recipes and find something new to fix.  Could zentangle. And color.

Day 200

Yesterday was telephone day. Megan has credits for three AA degrees and applied to HSU. Took her 13 years. Took me 12 years to get my BA and Hollie, too, had gaps in her education before she walked. We take our time but we never doubt that we will complete our goal. Today Minnie gets a vet check on her dental work. She is doing very well. Oh yes, then I have to go to Sarah for a massage.

day 199

I have a sore arm from the flu shot. Protected for the winter. It’s 9/11 and all the memories are racing around the TV. It is good to remember that the world changed that day. Our naïve feeling that no harm could happen here was gone forever. Today is senior center duty. Since I only have two days a month at this time, it feels important to catch up on what’s been happening there. I want my days back.

Day 198

Lots of conversations and connections yesterday. I enjoyed it. The board meeting had a few slow spots but was worthwhile to attend. Today is museum duty. Based on my feelings, I will finish out the month but not return in the spring. Hollie is going to pick me up there and we will do errands and lunch while she waits for her appointment time. Maybe we will get our flu shots. It’s that time again. I get one annually. 

Day 197

It was a good group time. Lots of catching up plus the writing. They liked Kelle’s offering and also the walk through their homes. Both of my friends are artistic and a trained observer would enjoy knowing who they are. Today is board of supervisors meeting. So far the meetings have been interesting and informative. Maybe fireworks again from Gitlan. I’m ready to cancel my subscription to the triplicate. Too much ink for him and not for both sides.

Day 196

Another cold day. Heater is on. Della likes it. Today Carol and Chris will come for J street journals. I’m going to share Kelle’s three statements with tarot cards. The statements are: My head needs to know, My heart needs to embrace, My hands need to do. Then I’ll tell about the idea that came to me after the sheriff business. What would a stranger know about me by walking through my house? That could be an interesting writing.

Day 195

Peaches are out. Pears and apples are in. Found green beans, yellow squash, and dino kale. Good foods. Yesterday was peaceful. Minnie is getting well fast and I see her energy coming back. I’m thinking she was sick longer than I noticed. The problem is solved now and she can be her lively self. After church I want a long walk to notice the color changes. The area is browner than usual due to lack of rain. Still beautiful.

Day 194

We had a good time together. Cosco was a zoo but we found the items on our lists and got out fast. Gonsei is our lunch favorite. Hot sour soup and Chinese chicken salad for three. Today the house will get a lick and a promise. Farmers’ market will get a visit as I want green beans and peaches plus other greens. Then rest and relaxation for the day. A busy week is over and I need down time.

Day 193

Minnie had five extractions yesterday. She had abscessed teeth. She will feel better when she heals. The first thing she wanted when she came home was food. I mixed her kibble with broth. I’m glad it’s over. Today Hollie and I are going to Eureka. We will meet Megan at Hollie’s appointment and she and I will go do something together. When Hollie is through we will meet at Cosco, spend money, eat our usual lunch and come home.

Day 192

Made a side trip for Mexican food instead. Hungry after the long boring duty at the museum. No visitors. Poor Minnie. She’s going to the vet for dental work so no breakfast. She keeps telling me that I’m forgetting something. I know how important food is to her. I love long telephone conversations with my friends. Last night Eileen called and we caught up. It’s so easy to let too much time go by without check-ins. Love Megan’s calls.

Day 191

Made contacts and connections yesterday. I have a bunch of voter registration forms and will go places to find folks who aren’t registered. It’s a place to start. The county clerk gave me a booklet about the propositions. They are difficult to read through. I want to write my October column about voting and making sense of candidate statements and propositions. Good luck to me. Today is museum duty. May make a side trip to farmer’s market. Need greens.

Day 190

There is still a tiny place in my heart that misses the first day of school. The first look at the new crew and wondering about the year ahead. Today I will enjoy a  walk, and feeling grateful about how my life is unfolding. New ideas are cropping up about engaging in political action of some kind. I know I am a better supporter than leader. I don’t know enough yet to initiate and I know I’ll find guidance.

Day 189

     

Today is Minnie’s birthday. She is nine years old. She came here when she was three years old. She is a sweetheart and beautiful too. I’ll make it a new bone day in her honor. No agenda. I had three walks yesterday. The wind was warm and energizing. I may do dusting and sweeping. On the other hand, if the doors and windows are open all day, more dust will accumulate. So that would be a waste of energy. 

Day 188

I want to take on a political action. Just not sure how to get started. I have a map of my district. Shall I make a flier to invite people to board meetings? I’ll figure out what my job is. Today is foggy outside and the coffee is making headway into my brain fog. I need something new again. Restless and no focus yet. I may do something dumb like clean house if I can’t find a productive distraction.

Day 187

The papers were out by 11 AM. Hollie and I went to see 100 Step Journey and it was great. Feel good movie and beautiful besides great acting. This morning is the Dem’s Union breakfast. For years, Gene and I went together. Last year I went alone as he was sick. Now he is gone and I will go alone in his memory. He was my best friend and mentor. He is still teaching me about compassion and action. 

Day 186

We fed 82 people at the community dinner. It was a mixed crowd from babies to elders. Everyone enjoyed the food, especially the cake and ice cream. I served mashed potatoes that went under the shepherd’s pie. The salad came from fresh produce and was full of tomatoes. I acknowledge that I can schedule late afternoon activities after so many years when my day was over early. This morning I will distribute Senior News. Movie with Hollie this afternoon.

Day 185

Karen tried to start the day with small talk. OK, I can do that. Then Donita came and said, Oh, you’re on time today. Out it came, I told Karen the consequences to my life from her hysteria. I hope I can move on now. Working with the others to prepare for this evening’s meal at the church was fun. I enjoyed it and am finally feeling well enough to want a deeper connection with other people. Ah, progress!

Day 184

It was a good day. The supervisors meeting was interesting. Gitlin made a scene, as usual. Today is museum duty. I don’t know what to expect from Karen B. or from me. I want to be cool but I also want her to know what her Chicken-Little act did to my life. If I feel uncomfortable with her, I may leave. Later is preparation for tomorrow’s community dinner at church. I’ll take some of Carol’s wonderful tomatoes to share.

Day 183

I walked on Chris’ labyrinth again yesterday. It is a work of art. Visited with Carol and received Big Flat tomatoes. I have generous friends. Today is Board of Supervisors meeting. When I say I go to the meetings, I hear groans. We hired those people, it’s our job to see what they are doing. Then Karen Rath will iron out my wrinkles with her magic fingers. Add good food and a long walk and it’s a great day.

Day 182

It’s my half-year birthday. Let’s see, what have I done with the time? Improved my health. Can’t stop now with a long way to normal numbers. My breathing is still short and puffy. Less vertigo. Occasional good energy. Lots of routine days, lots of walks. A few extra pounds around the middle. A new hobby – Board of supervisors meetings. Not much writing or creating in my journal. Stronger tie with church. Thinking of looking for a new volunteer placement.

Day 181

After church I will move in some direction. Maybe walking, or shopping, but not another day of inertia. I have to get busy and build on my progress toward restoring my body. I did see a couple of good old movies and a Giant’s game. Not enough to engage my mind. No writing. No reading. I need to kick myself. Still a lingering distaste from the Wednesday incident. No one asked how it impacted me except Hollie and Chris.

Day 180

Karen is keeping her drama alive. She is the hero. I am the villain. That’s OK. She needs it. I don’t. The visit with Megan and Butters was fun. The dog fun takes away time from deep conversation and I did get a poke in about registering at HSU. She doesn’t understand what’s keeping her from pushing SEND. Just do it, my dear one, get moving. Farmer’s Market this morning followed by whatever happens next. Maybe shopping and errands.

Day 179

I worked it all out. It was the unexpected invasion of privacy and the total feeling of exposure. I had to walk it off and write it off. All gone now. Megan is at Hollie’s and will be here later with Butters. After my appointment with Dr. E. we will go to breakfast and visit. I’m looking forward to time with both of them. May get shopping done and errands, or not. And a long walk will be good.

Day 178

Yesterday the museum people forgot that I had a dental appointment and would be late. Karen called Hollie, the sheriff, Chris and Jon and drove around looking for me, set off a storm of anxiety. Then I walked in. I was bombarded by the feelings. I was both touched and embarrassed. Later my psyche felt stirred and shaken. I haven’t sorted out what all that means to me. I don’t have words yet. My night was broken and restless. 

Day 177

Hollie did most of the cleaning yesterday and the little house looks welcoming. Then we went to lunch and ran into Katie and Trish. They talked about delivering meals to homebound people and Hollie is thinking about doing it. She is looking for a new activity. Today I’m going to the dentist for crown prep. Depending on how long that takes, I may get to the museum for my duty. My knees hurt from stumbling yesterday. An awkward moment.

Day 176

Yesterday was the best day all month! Lots of errands done, contacts made, dust bunnies ousted, a good long walk with the dogs to pay bills and visit along the way. Today the little house will get attention in a last dusting for Rachel’s arrival. The weeds are already taking over the little yard and I’m not doing any more. No more wogs or frogs in the pond so I dumped it. I’m a failure as a frog farmer.

Day 175

Monday, Monday. Hoping for a good week. The dogs go to the groomer at 8 and the floors will definitely get a sweep while they are away. It’s damp outside and dark. Today I will institute a revised version of the physical therapy exercises. If I can get my core stronger, maybe the back problems will go away. If I can’t get started on my own, I’ll ask for a series with my good friends at Northwest Physical Therapy.

Day 174

Another anomaly in my yard is the rhody blooming. It is an early blooming red and supposed to thrill us in February with its bold color. Well, it’s blooming in mid-August while swirls of dry leaves are also present. Oh well, there are no good old days. The funeral was packed and meaningful. It was a great send-off to lovely lady. I didn’t know she was a scrabble addict. Lots of funny stories that brought everyone laughter and tears.

Day 173

No trip after all. Headaches interfered. Oh well, there’s another day coming up. Today is farmers’ market and the sad duty of attending a funeral for Donna. I lost three people last Wednesday. It becomes more frequent as I grow in birthday candles. It's the natural order of nature and not to be feared. I watered all the trees and shrubs yesterday. No rain in sight. Wondering about winter already as leaves are blowing by. No more normal pattern.

Day 172

Probably won’t hear the results of the test until Wednesday when Tonda works again. As long as the number is over 47, April’s total, I’ll feel that progress is happening. The gas-pump icon lit up in the car so I must go Brookings today for the shopping and gas that we planned for last Monday and didn’t go. It was a low day for me. Today I’m rarin’ to go and fill the list. The dogs need bones too.

Day 171

Story in. Photo of Bill and Kathy in. Lots of socializing yesterday. I enjoyed every minute. I like days with parts, active and quiet, people and alone, mental and not-so-much. Today I get a blood test and I have high hopes for a number around 60. In spite of the low days, I know I am getting better. All those beans, greens, and grains must be filling in the empty places where I am storing new iron and calcium.

Day 170

The heater is turned on again. Too cold. I’m feeling a cold lurking in my head too. The supervisors meeting was interesting. J/Cooper intersection was on the agenda. As long as I keep learning something new about how it all works, I will attend the meetings. My story about LRT is ready to write. I’ll walk down in this mild drizzle and take a photo of the future home of the theater company on my way to museum duty. 

Day 169

Did more research about LRT and had a long conversation with Jenny. She didn’t know who the original people were and hopefully Kathy Maffett will call back. I want to write about who and how the whole thing began. It might inspire others to work toward groups and projects that they want to have. A few people can make a big difference when they put their heads and energies together. Today is board of supervisors meeting. Interesting so far.

Day 168

Monday again. Hollie and I may go to Brookings today. I need shoes and maybe Freddie’s will have tops and shirts on sale since back to school is in full swing. I want to talk to Tracy about my back and hear his diagnosis. I’m afraid it’s something I have to live with. Maybe it’s time to go to physical therapy and work on core conditioning. Could take a serious look at my food intake too. I want well-being.