Day 283

My whole self felt tired yesterday. Except for lunch with Chris, I was flat. It’s disappointing to have a day with little movement. I did call Anthem about their pdp and directv about giving me a promotion to lower my bill. Aside from that it was movie day with lap dogs. Watched The Great Gatsby and Saving Mr. Banks. Both worth the time. Today I will push myself to at least walk around the block. I need daily exercise.

An aside

As I caparisoned shopped for a prescription drug plan, I encountered a representative who was chatty along with his information. I had my questions ready as it was the third place I called. His first ageist remark was, “Are you sure you are almost 80?” Yes, why? “You don’t sound that old.” How is 80 supposed to sound? After I collected the information I requested, I thanked him for his service. Second ageist remark, “It was my pleasure to talk with someone intelligent.” That’s when I asked him, Did you job description mention that you would be talking to medicare recipients? Weren’t you expecting to talk to old people? Guess what? Old doesn’t mean feeble or stupid. I know the conversation was recorded. I hope someone in a supervisory position listened.

The encounter brought up to me what it means to be an “old person.” I am grateful for gaining the wisdom to use my words in ways that state clearly what I want and need to be understood. I am softly giving up needs that don’t fit and embracing the empty place with simple pleasures. I don’t need to explain myself. No excuses need to be given and if I say NO to a request that is followed by a pregnant pause from the asker, I make no effort to fill in the blank. I have owned my history, owned my limitations comfortably and know where and how to use my energy, skills, and interests. Work on my personal attitudes and behaviors are  private conversations with God. I know how I would like to live my life and keep goals simple enough to maintain by myself. I have no unfinished dreams. Life as it is is satisfying. I am open to whatever comes next without expectations, anxiety, or anticipation. Just go along with the flow and trust the natural process, no pushing the river, no cloud castles, friends and tea and cookies, and meaningful conversation make life precious. That’s what aging means to me.