Day 365

Last day of my 79^th year. I will not jot down statistics. Enough to say that it has not been a banner year for good health. It has been a good year for constant progress and work toward maximizing my whole self. It’s amazing how willing the body is to restore itself and get on with living. All the ups and downs are evidence of being in the community and taking my place in the world. It’s all good.

Next blog -  My 80 Words

Day 364

Today is senior center duty and the walking routine. I’m still restless and don’t have a focus for the loose energy. It’s certainly not housework. One new thing for my 80^th year will be finding a new housekeeper. I had good conversations yesterday with Karen Rath, Kelle, Julia, Hollie, and myself. I want to spread good cheer at the center today and get involved with the people. They are a bunch who like attention and need it. My job.

Early birthday gift

Colorful happy walking

prancing, dancing feet               

Day 363

Or maybe I’m just happy for no reason except I’m alive and grateful. It’s just that it’s unfamiliar after so long feeling unwell, grumpy, and restless. Today I will ask for my birthday blessing in church. I like that moment of acknowledgement. More walking maybe with dogs. Minnie still acts like she doesn’t feel well. She did get herself off the bed this morning without the elevator. The orchids will get their drinks of water and that’s all today.

Day 362

No agenda for today aside from the prescribed walking and nutritious food. I want to visit with someone interesting. I find conversations stimulating and helpful for finding words to interpret experiences. Right now I have a big happy bubble in my middle that I like a lot but don’t know what it’s about yet. Maybe it’s the sun making a bright day again. Maybe it’s simply anticipating my 80^th birthday and sending off the blog to make another book. 

Day 361

Minnie kept sitting down so the walk was short. She seems OK except for not wanting to jump up or down. May take her to the vet. Today I’ll get the taxes done. I always get them out of the way before my birthday. It’s a ritual that I like as unfinished business presses and there is no reason to wait. It’s simple enough. The government takes a big bite and I live on the rest. Long walk later.

Day 360

The tea with Carol and Chris was my idea of fun: close friends, hot tea, yummy muffins, poetry, and safe place for conversation. I enjoyed every minute, hug, and crumb. Then off to church for Ash Wednesday service and the reminder of our mortality. That was also close and personal with Father, Mara, and four of us. Today I’ll be out for senior center duty and hope for a walk with the dogs. They need a daily walk too.

day 359

We did compromise and it was smoother. I can adjust and so can Holly G. It takes time to find middle ground and it shouldn’t be hard when it’s a volunteer duty. Today I will sort the tax stuff for the appointment on Friday. Once I put all the papers out and start the list of expenses for the guest house, it’s a slam dunk. It’s getting started that has been difficult. Then it’s tea with Carol and Chris.

Day 358

Today is police volunteer duty. I’m hoping to find a way to compromise with my partner or I will have to do something else. Her insistence on detail is not working for me as I find it unnecessary and unwieldy. The writing, looking up and down, and paying attention make my head hurt. She needs a secretary, not a patrol partner. And yes, I admit that I miss Gene and his easygoing routine. Then harbor walking with dogs again. 

Day 357

Kelle and I were discussing “fun”. What do I do that I call fun? To me a fun day includes interesting people, interactive activity, laughing, probably food. I guess I need to ramp up having fun. Routine is satisfying but not necessarily fun. I don’t need exciting happenings but now and then spontaneous and unexpected moments would be fun. Today is dog wash, water orchids, walk, sweep floors. No fun there unless I find it among the dust kittens.

Yellow face looks up

Says Hello to the spring sun

Making my heart happy

Day 356

After church the dogs and I will walk together. I’m thinking about safe places to enjoy. The dogs need daily exercise especially Minnie who would prefer to act as a couch cushion. Later today I want to finally sit here and finish the column on Jed Smith. I’ve been putting it off and now is the time to get it done. I don’t like unfinished business of any kind. Takes my attention away from being in the present moment. 

Day 355

Valentine’s Day. I’m glad I sent out a few greetings to friends at a distance. Megan posted that loving and accepting oneself is necessary and not to wait to be loved and accepted by an outside person. Good for her. She is doing so well right now and keeps on moving toward her future. I’m pleased to be part of her progress. Today I want to be walking and maybe pulling a few weeds. I need exercise besides walking.

Day 354

Tonda called to say that there is still bacteria present and to pay attention to how I feel. I don’t want to slip into overall notwellness. I took the dogs for a walk around the park yesterday after duty. They came home tired and today we will go for a walk around the harbor. They need a daily walk as much as I do. Both of them have tight harnesses to show their weight gain. Not good for dachshunds.

Day 353

I did some of the above chores and left others for tomorrow. My energy slipped a little and I did get a nice long walk. Today I am ready for senior center duty and whatever else comes along that might be fun. I am missing exercise and may ask for a course of core conditioning at the physical therapy facility. It served me well in 2013 and I came home prancing. I did the home exercises for a while.

Day 352

Yesterday was the best day in months. I was up early, took care of household chores, walked before patrol duty, spoke about the minutiae, and reached a compromise, came home to make delicious chicken soup, smiled and was happy. Today I would like to do it again. I made one appointment yesterday and have a couple more to make and I will be current with business. I will write the column today and send it and sort for taxes.

Day 351

I look for markers that show progress in my health and well-being. Today I wrote the valentines that I bought last year and then stuck in a drawer. I don’t send Christmas greetings and do send Valentines instead. I may not send as many as I had planned but just the act of writing a few feels good. Today is police patrol duty. I need to speak about what I need in order to be comfortable: Less record keeping.

Day 350

Another noisy and restless night and I’m feeling it. Bring on the coffee. At least the power stayed on except for a couple of minor blips. Hollie was out for 30 hours Saturday and Sunday. Today I will have a test to be sure the infection is gone. I feel that it is OK now. And then senior center duty. I sure want a walk later. This wild storm is supposed to pass and calm will take its place.

Day 349

Good sleep and still feel weary today. I did get a brief walk yesterday and research at the museum. Had good conversations with the volunteers there. I will use an old history column for the senior news. I will go to church this morning. I missed two weeks and want to be there today. The house needs attention. I know I’m feeling better when I notice the dusty floors. Noticing and doing something about it are two different things.

day 348

Noisy night with a wake-up call at 3:30 with a power problem up the street that resulted in emergency vehicles. Then at dawn I saw my power line drooping dangerously close to the street and called 911. A fire truck came and stayed until the power company truck came and put it back up where it belongs. I’m tired. The Dalai Lama suggests beginning each day remembering that all of us want the same things: happiness, love, and connectedness.

Day 347

Wet and windy. And humid. Today I will write in my poor neglected journal. There are prompts from Angeles Arrien’s book on gratitude that are begging for a response. I am grateful. It’s warm and dry in my comfortable home along with good food and my two dogs. It’s abundance for sure. I was restless yesterday both here and at the senior center. Kept pacing around looking for something to do but unfocused. Today I intend to pay attention.

day 346

Big storm outside and I will brave it to go to the senior center for my duty. It’s Boon Dock Band day and they bring humor along with their music. I did do errands and walk yesterday. Hollie and I went to lunch at Wing Wah. That was a nice treat. The rest of the day was quiet. I am recovering and I know I’m not whole yet. Della is also improving. She isn’t so sad and slow moving.

day 345

The patrol was tiring. Holly likes details and I was recording. It’s not my favorite thing. I know I can’t compare the duty with Gene but I will say that he knew what was important to report. I’ll go again and hope she relaxes a bit. I do like the connection to the police department. I could recruit a new partner. Today I have to go to the store. I’ve been putting it off and the cupboard is bare. 

Day 344

The duty was OK and I was happy to come home yesterday. Today I will go to the police department and patrol with Holly Greene. I only have to ride in the car so that should work well. I can observe. I am sleeping better and not getting up as often so healing is progressing. I like my life and miss the people and activities when I have to stay home. Long talk with Megan. Enjoyable and feels close.

Day 343

Sunday was flat. I didn’t even step outside. Jon came over from next door to watch the super bowl game. Otherwise I would not have spoken out loud all day. It was pleasant to sit and watch the athletes at work. I want to go to the senior center today for my duty. I missed all last week. It’s possible because I know that if I need to do so, I can come home. I want to be well.

day 342

Yesterday I had a short walk and a long rest. Not as perky as I wanted to be. Today I’m feeling kind of dull and expect that I’ll rest again. I want to do my duty at the senior center tomorrow. I’m not sure that 20 doses of anti-biotics have taken care of the infection. There are still places that don’t feel well. I have first of the month things to do like back up the computer. Easy chores.

Day 341

It was a good day! I’m happy to say that after so many low days. I did distribute the senior news, have a positive dental appointment, go to the police department and, with Holly Greene, found my old uniform. Then renewed my drivers’ license for another five years. Altogether a fine day. I went to bed at 7. That’s OK. Today I want a long walk, a few vegetables from Wild Rivers, and a day of healing and rest.

Day 340

Yesterday’s good energy lasted until noon. Long enough to get the errands done that have waited. Today will be busy. The dentist appointment is 10:15. No big drama this time as I recall the horrible day when Karen played chicken little from the hysterical society. I will take the license renewal test at 3:45. I’ve never been anxious about that before now. I just need to read carefully. Maybe senior news will arrive too and some will be distributed.

Day 339

The errands and shopping are still on the agenda. Never did get up to running speed. Those darn anti-biotics are taking their time to kick in probably because I had the infection for so long undiagnosed. I will get out for a walk at least but hope to get groceries and dog food. Della looks OK this morning. She took herself out of bed rather than wait for me to lift her down. I hope she moves freely today.

Day 338

We had a good day yesterday and both Della and I are a little slow this morning. I guess we cannot expect healing to be in a straight line. Tonda called yesterday to apologize for the poor treatment. She was away and thought she left me with care. We are OK now. I’m halfway through the medication and have to work on vitamin D and iron. Not quite up to normal numbers yet. Today I have errands and shopping.

Day 337

Both Della and I are much better this morning. She is walking slowly but not drooping in tiptoe mode. This morning I’m going to the sheriff station to get fingerprinted so I can volunteer at the police department again. Then off to the board of supervisors meeting. As soon as I am officially cleared, Tuesdays will be patrol days so the meetings will have to go on without me. I have learned a lot about how county government works.

Day 336

Another uncomfortable night. Today I can do the same routine as yesterday. I did remember that I had AZO and a couple of pills helped the gut ache. Della is very slow and droopy this morning. She didn’t want breakfast and that’s where her medication is hiding. I need to feel well. I’m sure now that this long period of not wellness results from having had this infection for a long time. I may need a new health partner.

Day 335

Lousy long night. I have pain in my gut and Della has pain in the back. I think the delay in getting medication for the UTI is making it more difficult to heal. Today I will do nothing except drink water and rest. No church, no walk. I have asked for a substitute for my senior center duty tomorrow and cancelled the trip to Klamath to celebrate Jackie’s birthday. I can catch up later. I need to curl up.

Day 334

Della is sad with pain. In spite of the anti-inflammatory med and pain med, she can barely walk. It’s hard to look at her and have nothing to offer to soothe her. I did get a walk yesterday but that was the only accomplishment and that felt good. This unseasonable weather is delightful. I sat outside with the dogs for few minutes and Della made a slow circuit of the yard. Her favorite place is under the lemon tree.

Day 333

Some enjoyment yesterday but mainly frustration. I know Mercury is retrograde but come on, does it have to mess up all communications. Took three trips, two faxes, four phone calls, and five hours to connect with my prescription for the UTI that was finally diagnosed after two weeks. Della is in pain and I did get more medicine from her vet. She is a miserable little girl. Today I set off the security alarm and have a headache. Egads.

Day 332

Della’s back pain is still bad. I’ve been giving her turmeric along with the anti meds from the vet. She shrieks when she moves too fast or jumps down. Yesterday she started to run and shrieked. I may call the vet for a more aggressive medication. I had two walks yesterday and felt quite well! Today is senior center duty and it’s another nice January day. I could pull weeds or not. May simply enjoy the respite from winter.

Day 331

Feel normal this morning. Della hurt her back yesterday and had a quick trip to the vet. He gave her anti-inflammatory meds. I added turmeric to her breakfast. Today the house needs attention. Lots of dust bunnies running around. And I feel a long walk coming. True North is meeting this evening and I have decided to pass. It does not call me sufficiently to join. Much as I admire what they do, I don’t feel it’s for me. 

Day 330

      

Sick yesterday with diverticulitis. Went to bed with chills and fever. I’m feeling better now but not over it. Megan called early. It’s her first day at University. She is nervous and excited. Good for her. It will be busy with work and school and she can do it. Yesterday I heard that my ferritin level is up to 72. That’s up from 7 in August 2013. I want to feel better. I don’t know the other results yet.

day 329

Yesterday was better. Maybe declaring my dissatisfaction helped my consciousness. I was restless and unfocused but definitely more present than I have been. A walk, church, watering the orchids, visiting with Julia, phone plans with Hollie, all good connections. Today I can do it again and maybe even use my time in a way that leaves me feeling self-respect. It’s a clear cold morning, perfect for getting busy. Errands and groceries will happen while the dogs are being bathed.

Day 328

      

I want more! Time is valuable and I let it dissipate like steam with nothing to show for it. No writing, no exercise, no quiet time. When I get to the Pearly Gates, will I tell St. Peter that I enjoyed a lot of TV. I just read a quote: Your life is well-spent if memories make you smile. I have a few smiling memories and a whole lot of gray flat lines. I can do better. Move now.

Day 327

Yesterday: headache 1, me 0. Wasted day of hot pack on the back of my neck and waiting for the misery to subside. Finally did late in the afternoon and I was all out of interest in doing anything. Today has been great. Lots of attention to my home and personal stuff. I do love fresh fuzzy sheets. I have good food to eat and a happy body to enjoy Saturday. No call from Tonda regarding blood test results.

Day 326

I’ll call Tonda today. I don’t want to wait until next week to know what the tests showed about my functions. I had a great walk yesterday. Knew that I could do the long block and do it well. Feels so good to get out and push myself. Senior center duty was busy and noisy. Coming home to quiet was a blessing. Today the agenda is walking and grocery shopping and that’s all. I want fresh vegs and fruits. 

Day 325

Did the chores and errands yesterday. Today I’m ready to get out with people. It’s easy to stay home alone and I could be a hermit very quickly. That’s the good thing about a sense of responsibility as it gets me moving. I want to walk early and push myself. I haven’t walked the long block for more than two weeks. Just haven’t felt like I could do it. Maybe Tonda will call today with the blood test results. 

Day 324

No agenda today. Probably take a walk. The house could use attention. The health department wouldn’t condemn it but I want it neater. I started on the Gratitude journal. I am grateful for my life and life style. Simple works well. I am constantly making less. Taking unused items away feels like a relief. One more thing that I don’t have to own. I could start sorting tax stuff. My habit is to have taxes done before my birthday.

Day 323

The blood draw was awful. First time in my long history and that includes 107 donated pints of blood, that I had pain, swelling, redness, and bruising from the test! Bad way to start the day. Made me feel light-headed for a while. This morning it is still red, sore, and lumpy. I’ll get a walk early and then the board of supervisors meeting. The newly elected officials will be introduced. I want to see Eric installed as sheriff.

Day 322

Up early and without coffee yet. Have to go to the doc’s office at 7 to have fasting blood testing. Then I can jet home for coffee. It’s the way I have started my day forever. If I wait too long, I get the headache from caffeine withdrawal. My day officially starts with the first cup and I tell myself that I get smarter with each sip. Later, a walk, senior center duty, and a busy Monday. Life’s good.

Day 321

Yesterday I did not speak out loud to another human. Dogs, yes. We have conversations all the time. I had a brief walk but the force was not with me and the rest of the day was quiet and restful. Today I must catch up on house stuff like watering the orchids and dusting the floors. I want a walk before church. The February column is writing itself in my mind: love and health equal dogs in my opinion. 

Day 320

Jackie wasn’t well so we missed her company. Chris, Carol, and I had a wonderful lunch and tour of the resort. We three exchanged news and caught up on the past weeks.. I used Jackie’s name and that opened doors. Today I have ordinary house tasks plus groceries. I wish I had something new and fun to do. I will walk the long block if possible. Even if I don’t want to walk, I feel better with the effort. 

Day 319

I’m picking up a bit. Feel like myself. The errands were all done by 10 AM yesterday! Today, an excursion. I’m taking Chris and Carol to Klamath to have lunch with Jackie at the Abalone Grill. Jackie’s birthday is later this month so I’ll start the celebration. I know her huge family and tribe will pay tribute to her 80 years. She has done a bundle of parenting, teaching, and service to her people. I’m looking forward to today.

Day 318

Yesterday was busy with errands and I enjoyed getting things done. In the afternoon I visited the police department, met the new chief and Holly, the volunteer who wants a partner for patrol. I said I would go with her one day a week for a few hours. I like the connection to the PD. I also like a busy schedule. I do better with outside commitments and tend to get things done here when I am going out.

Day 317

       

It was a low energy day. I did get a walk and visit with Eileen at her new jewelry shop. She displays her art and makes it a cozy colorful place. Night was broken by quick trips between bed and bathroom. Don’t know what I ate that insulted my innards, but whatever it was, it’s gone now. Today will be warm and calm and I want to get outside and enjoy it. A January warm spell is a gift.

Day 316

Another long sleep under the full moon. I want to feel better today. I have things to do that need energy to accomplish. First, a trip to the store for groceries. I didn’t get to it yesterday. I have a slow cooker full of beans, all the ingredients for hummus are on the counter, and I want a pile of greens to go with. Back to carrying my banner that says nutrition and exercise are the tools for wellness. 

Day 315

Still feeling undue fatigue. Long sleep again in the new fuzzy sheets with weird dreams. Must be the full moon influencing my mind. I was teaching! Egads. Today will begin with a long brisk walk followed by senior center duty followed by shopping for vegetables. Back in my good nutrition mode. Beans, greens, grains, and fruit. I admit that I am ready to be back in my routine. It must be a sign of aging. Time for rigorous self-care.

Day 314

Kelle’s plane was late, of course. She was offered a voucher if she would take a later flight from Arcata. I came home to deal with a heater problem in the guest house. I went to bed very early and slept long. I want to have energy today to walk, tidy the house, put the new flannel sheets on my bed, and eat well. No more indulging. The holidays and Kelle’s visit are over and reality time has come. 

Day 313

Kelle will fly away at 10 AM. It has been a good visit. I wish I had had more energy and felt better. Oh well, it is what it is. She did get a rest, sleep, read, catch up her e-mail, visit the redwoods, and paint the tank. We ate out every day. I only cooked one meal! Then I’m back in routine and that’s OK with me. We will begin the day with a walk and left-over pizza.

Day 312

We did get a long walk yesterday to Cazadore’s for dinner. Today is Kelle’s last full day and I’m hoping for something fun to do. Not feeling too peppy again. I started a new paper journal for 2015. Hoping to be more faithful to it than last year. I know the blog takes some of the reviewing away from writing with a pen. I could still write a commentary as I don’t often do that here. Both record history.

Day 311

New calendars in place. Minnie is calm after the gun shots and fire crackers in the night. Ready for whatever comes next. All the senior news are out with Kelle’s help and a couple of walks happened too. Today I want to poke and putter finding places to sort. Kelle has rust sandpapered and will spray the rustoleum on the kerosene tank. I didn’t get much weeding done. I’m ready to experience 2015 in the best way I can. 

January column

Ending one year and beginning a new one offers a chance to evaluate how life is going. Any parts that need adjusting such as habits, relationships, opportunities are open to quality checks. Gratitude is important to me. Keeping in mind how abundant my life is and knowing that it takes acknowledgement to keep it healthy. One big resolution that I make annually is Do It Now. Acting on impulses, little whispers, clues that are important to take care of immediately have filled my life with treasures. Here are two examples that have deep meaning for me:

At a meeting of the Volunteers in Police Service another member, Gene Lyssenko, stated the need for a new partner. He looked around the table and I knew he meant another man. Taking the risk, in a tiny voice, I said, “I’ll be your partner.” A long silence that felt like I hadn’t spoken at all was followed by, “We can try that.” Thus began a partnership that was full to the brim with his wisdom and generosity. Gene was my best friend and we shared freely and safely for years that were full of his gifts of fish, garden produce, but mainly companionship. It was Gene who told me that compassion for the homeless would be good for my soul. So often I have thanked myself for speaking up at just the right minute to make my life a lot better.

My longtime friend Wendell Peterson, who introduced me to St. Paul’s, gave up driving and would call when he wanted to go shopping for more items than he wanted to carry back to his apartment. One day I shopped too and had my grocery cart behind him. At the meat counter, he said, “Why don’t you buy that pork leg, roast potatoes, get applesauce, make a salad, and invite me to dinner.” On he went with his list in his hand and I did exactly what he suggested. I did not say, “I’ll get around to it.” I did it right then and there. When dinner was ready, I picked him up and we enjoyed our meal together. I fixed him a plate to take home and delivered him back to his place. Two days later, he was found dead in his chair with his newspaper on his lap. Again, I have thanked myself for grabbing the impulse and acting on it.

If you do one big thing in this new year, make it a point to listen to your own messages about actions that can make a difference for yourself and others. It could be a poke from Spirit giving guidance that result in good work.