Yesterday was great. The shopping trip to Brookings produced
what we wanted. The dogs have a new cache of bones, Hollie picked up a few
things, Kelle found what she wanted, and so did I. You can’t beat that! On the
way back we had lunch at Sea West and enjoyed every bite. Then a long walk in
spite of the cold wind. Today the senior news will be distributed along with a
couple of errands. Very good days.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Day 309
The rain changed the plans yesterday and Kelle opted for
reading while I was away. Later we walked in the rain to buy a bottle of Menage
a trois wine as recommended by Sarah. Today we are going to meet Hollie and
trek to Brookings with a stop in Smith River for Mexican lunch on the way back.
I have a short list for freddy including dog bones and a look at the sale
racks. Walking will happen too.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Day 308
Getting into routine today. Kelle will get up earlier than usual
and we will get a long walk. Then I’ll get myself together for senior center
duty and she will decide either to take me and keep the car for a visit to
Walker Road, or sand the rust off the kerosene tank. That’s her project for
this visit. The weeding in the little yard is on the list to get done before
Rachel comes back on the first.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Day 307
It was a day of rest and relaxation. Today is damp outside
but warm inside. I’m ready to make a list of chores and changes and see what
happens. I want Kelle to get the rest she needs. Getting away from the rush and
routine is healing for her. I have soup on the stove, bread ready for garlic
butter. That’s dinner. Applewood smoked bacon is ready for breakfast along with
the potatoes that didn’t bake yesterday, and eggs.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Day 306
The plane was late. Nothing unusual about that. There she
was ready for a hug and a hamburger. Took care of both of those items quickly.
Kelle settled in and we went for a long walk for a bottle of wine. Today we
will shop for groceries and she will have a massage from Sarah. It’s good to
have her here. She stimulates me and gets me moving. I started planning what
places need to be sorted and changed.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Day 305
Wonderful Christmas family day! Started with Megan and her
work friend picking me up at 7:30. It was
beautiful in Hiouch with the river sparkling in the sun. Breakfast was fragrant
when we arrived, bacon in the oven while Hollie put the frittata together. We
chatted and enjoyed being together. Later we packed up dogs and went to the
beach for a long walk followed by making dinner. All good. This morning Kelle
flies in for her 10th visit.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Day 304
We had a wild squall just as Hollie was driving in for the
shopping trip. Her wipers were turned on to the frantic setting! Parmentier’s made my day with a plate of
wonderful food. It was truly a care package. Today is cold and clear. Megan will
pick me up for breakfast and later we’ll do the fixing for dinner. Church was
OK last night. I wasn’t feeling festive or religious. I went out of a sense of obligation.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Day 303
My muscles felt the weeding and it felt good. I have cleared
spaces to show for the effort. Today Hollie and I will shop for tomorrow:
Christmas breakfast in Hiouchi and dinner here. Traditionally we have bacon and
maybe a frittata early followed by roast haunch of musk ox, otherwise known as
roast beef, roasted root vegetables and Megan’s desert. She plans to make apple
things wrapped in dough. The dogs will play with Butters. All good family fun.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Day 302
Foggy again. I did get a walk yesterday and it made a huge
difference to my mood and my body. It’s amazing and frightening how fast
muscles forget with a few days inside. I know it’s another of those aging
things. Today I’m going to pull weeds in the little yard since Rachel is gone.
It is overgrown in places. Those darn avocado trees are trying to revive and
the sprouts are already three feet high. I’ll tame them.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Day 301
Dense fog and I’m prepared to get out and walk before I get
ready for senior center duty. Cabin fever needs to be cleared away. Walking
benefits my whole self. There are a couple of errands that have been waiting
for attention such as butter from the creamery and finding a calendar with the
whole of 2015 so that I can mark off the days. That’s a habit from long ago. I
enjoy watching the year progress with gratitude.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Day 300
Nine hours and thirty-three minutes of daylight. Yes, the
Solstice, the birthday of the Sun. Soon we will notice the minutes of light
coming back and the gloom will rise and disappear. I did restock the larder
yesterday with produce for vegetable soup and that was all. The constant rain
and wind seemed to seep inside and I curled up again. Television has its place
on days like that. I am feeling careless about how I’m living my life.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Day 299
After being flat all day yesterday, I’m looking forward to
at least going to the grocery store. Mother Hubbard’s cupboard looms. I need
fresh food in spite of the rain and wind and not feeling chipper. I’ve read the
paper, had my coffee, made the bed, made a grocery list and that is a good
start. I could write today, or doodle in the paper journal, or tidy up a drawer
or two. I simply must move more today.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Day 298
I did show up and stayed for duty. Not much else. Not
planning on any big deals today. It’s Chris’ birthday. I would not have the
blog or the book without her patient help. I’m grateful for her friendship. I’m
looking forward to Kelle’s visit next week. She wants to make plans. I want to
be spontaneous. We’ll compromise. She wants a list of chores to do. I’m happy
to comply. Her help is welcome. She gets me moving.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Day 297
I pushed myself yesterday. Am I unwell or depressed or
something else? So, clean floors including the porches, wet orchids, clean
bathroom and kitchen, and no, I didn’t feel any better when I was finished.
Hope to get out for a walk before it rains again. I will get to the senior
center for duty and stay today. Sitting here doesn’t make a difference so I may
as well show up and be useful. Avoiding people is not good.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Day 296
Hoping for physical and mental energy today. Yesterday I
wrote that the episode in August with Karen B. running around yelling that I
was missing got into my consciousness and has caused me to doubt myself. I
wondered, If someone is losing it, do they know it? Did I exhibit behavior that
would lead to the conclusion that I could get lost walking down the street? I
need to let that go and know that I am just fine.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Day 295
Had to come home from duty yesterday. Just didn’t feel well.
Slept well and this morning I’m making plans to get out for errands and a walk.
I hope the good feeling lasts today. Hollie suggested that I plug in the light
therapy box and use it as it has sat alone since I cleared the table for
Thanksgiving dinner. And I need vitamin D. The crackling candle helps in the
early dark. Guess I’m admitting to seasonal depression.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Day 294
I basically write this daily synopsis of my life to have a
book at the end of the year. Yesterday I browsed the 77 word book and it’s
surprising how the few words can bring back the memory in full. The books will
mean more than the words by adding images like the latest one with Megan. It’s
not that I think my life is so great, it’s more that I want a record of its ups
and downs.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Day 293
Spent the day flat and with netti pot treatments, baby
shampoo to clean my eyes, and vicks on the bottoms of my feet, I slept well and
feel just fine. I have respect for Megan’s entrance into Humboldt. She has a
schedule that looks brutal and she will handle it. Love the haircut and her
confidence. I remember those days when I was teaching, and still in college.
Meant long busy days. I knew I would get my degree.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
day 292
Woke up feeling sick. Eyes glued shut. Achy chest. Sneezing
and coughing. Darn it all. It’s clear and cold outside and I was looking
forward to getting outside. Maybe not now with cold symptoms. Yesterday I had
good conversations with two old and dear friends. It matters to me to keep in
touch and know how my friends are doing. I have promised myself that I would
write to out of town friends and have not done so yet.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Day 291
Yesterday was a good one. Mother Nature rampaged around and exhibited
a spectacular menu of her abilities. The senior center was fun and full of
laughing people. Today I’ll go to the breakwater and watch the sea throw itself
up and over the top. A little shopping and that’s the whole agenda. I want to
write a letter to the editor about the good things that happened at the board
of sups meeting. The paper usually reports the opposite.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
day 290
Things banged and blew around all night and the pressure
changes made my ears feel weird. Poor Minnie spent the night in her cave, aka
my closet. How do I explain that it’s outside and she is safe inside. Today I will
go to the senior center for duty as one whole day inside is enough. I did have
telephone conversation and paced but aside from the early morning foray into
the wind, I sat and stared at television.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
day 289
The birds are walking today. Too windy to fly. It’s a warm
pineapple storm event with the humidity at uncomfortable levels. Walking is exhilarating
and blows the cobwebs out of my brain. The board of sups meeting yesterday was
long and interesting. I enjoy knowing the people involved and their part in our
government. Today I’ll simply stay inside while nature rages her way from north
to south. I can poke around and find a place to tidy up.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Day 288
Megan waited and anticipated the day she could finally
register for classes at HSU and was frustrated by the red tape. Here’s hoping
she gets it straightened out and on the road again. Both Hollie and I took
longer than usual to get our degrees so she is following in our footsteps.
Today is windy. Makes the first half of the walk more strenuous than coming
home. I’ll sail with the wind at my back. A good day coming.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Day 287
I asked for anointing and prayer in church. I am not getting
the upswing I need by myself so maybe Spirit will drop by and give me a lift. I
want a walk this morning before breakfast. It’s a break in the rain followed by
days of showers and rain. Need to get out when I can. Maybe I will take the
dogs to the park later. Sure want dry days while Kelle is here. We have many plans.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
day 286
I did get half a walk. I went to get dark chocolate. That’s
what I wanted. The day was slow and I’m ready for an upswing. The energy line
goes up and down like a roller coaster. I want to write another personal essay.
I shared the one about what aging means to me and I will fill that one with
examples. I want to add to the one I wrote about Gene and Wendell for the
church newsletter.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Day 285
Dr. E. says my retina is stable, no new tears or holes. I
don’t have to go back for four months and then for a pressure check. I waited a
long time in the office. It’s unusual as he runs a tight ship or an efficient assembly
line operation. It took a long time for my eyes to recover. Today I’ll get out for
a walk, and then play house. I enjoy simply straightening out cupboards,
drawers, and closets.
Friday, December 5, 2014
day 284
I did get ¾ of my walk. Felt good. The day was full of
people, conversation, and fun. Today is for appointments beginning with Tracy,
the chiropractor, to straighten me out, and then Dr. E. for my annual eye exam.
After that, I will just come home as it is difficult to see for a couple of
hours. I like a day with people and activity. That’s why I’m looking around for
a new volunteer placement for next year.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Day 283
My whole self felt tired yesterday. Except for lunch with
Chris, I was flat. It’s disappointing to have a day with little movement. I did
call Anthem about their pdp and directv about giving me a promotion to lower my
bill. Aside from that it was movie day with lap dogs. Watched The Great Gatsby
and Saving Mr. Banks. Both worth the time. Today I will push myself to at least
walk around the block. I need daily exercise.
An aside
An aside
As I caparisoned shopped for a prescription drug plan, I
encountered a representative who was chatty along with his information. I had
my questions ready as it was the third place I called. His first ageist remark
was, “Are you sure you are almost 80?” Yes, why? “You don’t sound that old.”
How is 80 supposed to sound? After I collected the information I requested, I
thanked him for his service. Second ageist remark, “It was my pleasure to talk
with someone intelligent.” That’s when I asked him, Did you job description
mention that you would be talking to medicare recipients? Weren’t you expecting
to talk to old people? Guess what? Old doesn’t mean feeble or stupid. I know
the conversation was recorded. I hope someone in a supervisory position
listened.
The encounter brought up to me what it means to be an “old
person.” I am grateful for gaining the wisdom to use my words in ways that
state clearly what I want and need to be understood. I am softly giving up
needs that don’t fit and embracing the empty place with simple pleasures. I don’t
need to explain myself. No excuses need to be given and if I say NO to a
request that is followed by a pregnant pause from the asker, I make no effort
to fill in the blank. I have owned my history, owned my limitations comfortably
and know where and how to use my energy, skills, and interests. Work on my
personal attitudes and behaviors are private conversations with God. I know how I
would like to live my life and keep goals simple enough to maintain by myself.
I have no unfinished dreams. Life as it is is satisfying. I am open to whatever
comes next without expectations, anxiety, or anticipation. Just go along with
the flow and trust the natural process, no pushing the river, no cloud castles,
friends and tea and cookies, and meaningful conversation make life precious.
That’s what aging means to me.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Day 282
It made my head tired and I didn’t get anywhere. Lots of
phone calls that didn’t connect me with information. I may just give up and
stick with what I already have. Something tells me that there is no bargain
plan. In the end the cost will be the same no matter which plan I choose. Today
will be a wonderful change with lunch with Chris at Sea West. Looking forward
to her company along with the delicious food.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Day 281
Sorting papers looking for a receipt. I think I have a good
filing system until I have to find a specific paper. Now I have categories
clipped together in order and still didn’t find the one date and amount I need.
So, I guess it’s phone time and the inevitable press 1, hold, etc. until I get
a human to answer my question. All the insurance issues and premiums take up
time and energy. I’d like to simplify it.
Monday, December 1, 2014
day 280
December begins. Darkest days. My woodwick candle crackles
and dances, It feels alive like a fire in the cave chasing shadows onto the
walls. Kelle comes on the darkest week and brightens the atmosphere with her
energy and ideas. I have a list for us to accomplish while she is here. Today I’ll
get a walk, distribute senior news, and put the down comforter on the bed. Cold
nights are back. Big red coat is out of the closet.
Senior News
Senior News
The holiday season is difficult for many of us. The crowded
stores full of decorations, music, displays, and hurrying people can be
overwhelming. Some of us, like me, no longer have to fill a gift list. There
are no small children left and few relatives that share festivities. I stay
away from photographs of past Christmases and the memories of excited
youngsters tearing in the beautifully wrapped packages of specially selected
gifts. It’s a time when I miss my own childhood and think fondly of my parents
and their efforts for our holidays. It’s dark outside, short winter days and
long cold nights. It’s time to bring out the arsenal for survival.
Put on some lively music and dance! It is impossible to be sad and
in motion at the same time. Eat well. Remember the difference between self-care
and self-indulgence. A recipe for depression is sugar, junk food, and TV. Spend time in a way that feels good at the end
of the day. Connect with phone calls, send e-mail, get interested in a new
project, clean out the junk drawer, or read the biography. Take care of the
body with massage, facials, pedicures, and make-up. Get a silly movie and laugh
hard or a sad movie and cry hard. Tears are healing. Take a look through
dresser drawers and throw out unmatched socks, stretched out underwear, stained
shirts, all those clothes that take up space.
This year I am embracing the holidays. It is easier to
accept the inevitable than to fight it. I am making my home cozier –bright
colored pillows, lighting scented candles such as cinnamon, apple, or pumpkin
pie. To bring the season indoors, I am investing in small touches of the
holidays—a snow globe, a pine cone, or a tiny live tree. I plan to keep
something "cozy" on the stove -- soup or pot roast. Or something in
the crockpot to stew away and scent my home. Or seasonal baked goods – sugar
cookies, pumpkin pie or cider in a pot with cinnamon sticks, cloves, and orange
peel. I like bath therapy with candles, music—and then slathering on cream before
slipping into bed complete with brightly colored sheets and pillows.
When I'm in the dumps, I find that doing service, like volunteering, brings me a feeling of well-being.
I am getting out the rake to pile up some leaves. It gets the blood circulating, and it smells like childhood. I just might jump into the pile.
There is no benefit from simply reading this. Nothing moves until something moves.
When I'm in the dumps, I find that doing service, like volunteering, brings me a feeling of well-being.
I am getting out the rake to pile up some leaves. It gets the blood circulating, and it smells like childhood. I just might jump into the pile.
There is no benefit from simply reading this. Nothing moves until something moves.
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