Day 126

I came home from church to find a telephone message from Marlene that Gene died Saturday evening. He wheeled in the hallway calling “Babushka” and died. His last year has been full of horrible misery and so his death is release. I have so many memories of him that are full of his generosity, wisdom, sharing his fish and garden with me. Seems like every conversation gave me insight into what it means to be a good human being.

Day 125

Gorgeous morning. I will get out in a minute and enjoy the day. Walk first, then church. I’m already thinking about next month’s column for senior news, brain health. Good subject. Meanwhile, a quick sweep and dusting. The grocery store is on the agenda as I decided to stay home yesterday. Chris brought coconut ice cream from SeaWest. What a friend! I sure picked a wonderful neighbor. I could pull weeds as the rain softened the soil. Or not.

Day 124

The lunch at Sea West was delicious. Chris, Julia, and me. Donita wasn’t well. I will do that again. Not ready to entertain here but that will come next. Tonda called to check on me. It was an unexpected lift for my Spirit. I felt cared for and reported that I had the best week that I could remember. I know that the plateau is over and I’m making progress again. Today is farmers’ market, grocery shopping, and walking. 

Day 123

Yesterday went well. Had meaningful conversations and that seems to be the reason for staying. Not too many irritants. I like listening and acknowledging. Makes people feel heard and seen. Today I’m taking Julia and Donita to SeaWest for Thai food. I’m hoping Chris will come too. It’s the first occasion that I have planned and will do after months of wanting to begin a social life. The rain is refreshing and the grass is growing. Life is good.

Day 122

Still wet. I’m happy with the rain. The shrubs and trees needed a good soaking. The frog pond was in danger of overflowing so I cut a hole near the rim so the water could get out but not the tadpoles. I want to grow frogs and listen to them. Lots of interesting conversation at the museum. I like being there. Today is senior center duty. I will listen to my thoughts and monitor my feelings. Stay or go.

Day 121

It’s moist outside. I hope it pours for a few hours. The lawn is blonde and the shrubs could use a drink. The Board of Sups meeting was more interesting than I expected. I will go again to learn the language and see the dynamics. I did ask for a crosswalk.  I had two walks yesterday, signed for the new homeowners insurance, bought cheese, and stopped for Chinese on the way home. Today is museum duty. No other errands today.

Day 120

Two walks yesterday, one solo, one with dogs. Accomplished changing home-owners insurance and paying bills. Today I’m going to the Board of Supervisor’s meeting with Karen. I will ask for a crosswalk at Cooper and J Streets. I want to see Gitlin at work. I don’t like bullies. I don’t like people who say they are Christians and have to tell you because they don’t act it. I started the collage. Part of the fun is watching it grow.

Day 119

Day 119

Yesterday the headache won. Spent the day dozing and watching old movies. It’s OK to have an occasional down day. I missed church and walking. Today is starting well and I want it to last. My journal is open and waiting. I have a few pieces to arrange in a collage. It may turn out mixed-media with crayons and pens. I do get a lot from creating collage. It’s a metaphor for getting the pieces together in my head.

Day 118

On yesterday’s walk I met a neighbor who wants change in the area regarding a house that is used by squatters. I offered to write a letter to the building department and will do so this morning. After church I have no agenda other than getting outside for a walk and seeing the pollywogs dart around. I’m content with a slow quiet day. I am beginning to want more agendaless days. The need for busyness is losing its demand. 

Day 117

14 hours and 47 minutes of daylight! The Solstice brings the longest day. This week the sun came in the kitchen window. It’s the only time that the Sun is that far north. After watering the orchids, walking to farmers’ market, and getting errands finished, I will take the dogs for another walk. Karen is bringing more tadpoles for the frog pond. Some of them disappeared for an unknown reason. I’m looking forward to seeing the wigglers sprout legs.

Day 116

Yesterday at the senior center was OK. Enjoyed reconnecting with Robert. There are a few people I look forward to seeing. The volunteer count is way down and I will NOT be guilted into coming an additional day. One is enough for now. There seems to be a management problem. Today will begin with a long dog walk, shopping and errands. I’ll read on with cultivating creativity and see where it leads. There is more color in the journal.

Day 115

Senior center today. I no longer cringe when I think of going. Guess I have finally worn out the stress. I’ll get an early walk. Already have the crock pot full of beans seasoned with ginger and garlic. Good eating for a couple of days plus some for the freezer. The cultivating creativity book suggests collage to stir the Spark. Time to sit with old Oprah magazines and pull out pages that are interesting. The restlessness is about creating.

Day 114

Museum today. I like going there. It’s a friendly and relaxed atmosphere. I’ll get a walk before the dratted wind comes up. It was a freight train yesterday blowing the blooms right off the roses. I prefer fog to this incessant wind. I’m up for something new today, new and interesting. I need stimulation and engagement and I’m not yet providing that for myself. Guess I’m waiting for outside help. I am ready. Send me a teacher or guide.

Day 113

No agenda today except for another long brisk walk and maybe some attention to housework. Or not. I want to plan for social activities. I think about inviting people and then don’t follow through. Friends seem to be more important than solitude lately. That must be a sign of health and well-being. The restlessness is about wanting to talk and laugh and exchange stories with old friends and making new ones. I am journal writing again and adding color.

Day 112

Minnie and Della visit the dog wash this morning. They come home all fluffy. They will climb under the deck and come out smelling like dirt. I’ll get another long walk, pull a few weeds, and water the container garden. Sarah will put her hands on me and help my slow recovery. Yesterday in church I asked for a prayer of gratitude for the two men who protected me from the dog. I’m almost ready for the community dinner.

Day 111

The column is done. Two walks yesterday. The farmers’ market was a busy place. I brought home curly kale and bok choy to add to my ground turkey dish. I eat well but too often. Today I want to walk before church and find something to do this afternoon besides sit in front of the TV. I will watch the Giants game. Hopefully they will do better than the last two games. I need more than I am creating.

Day 110

I have to move more today. I’ve had three days of flat energy and that’s three too many. Pushing myself works sometimes. Other times I push myself out the door, turn around and come back in. I look forward to the farmers’ market. It usually turns out to be a social activity and I like that. Then dig into the writing. My idea has had time to gel. Now I need to watch the words appear on the monitor. 

Day 109

We went to La Fiesta for dinner. The visit was fun and lots of laughing and dog watching. Butters tried to get the aunties to play but they don’t know how. Today is grocery shopping for fruit. The vegetable shopping will happen tomorrow at the farmers’ market. I need to get hopping on July.s column. I’ve had ideas float in and out and I think I know where I’m going with it. I never know until I start writing.

Day 108

It’s the 60^th anniversary of my first marriage. What did I know? College student, devoted daughter, commuter for a long trip before freeways. I had the first divorce in the family and the first college degree. Does that balance out? Today is senior center duty followed by a visit with Megan and Butters. We may have dinner together after a dog get-together. The Aunties will have a sniffing good time. I love their visits any time they can come.

Day 107

Museum duty this morning. I look forward to this time. The people are interesting and it’s a non-stress environment. One day a visitor asked why we put so much emphasis on the tsunamis that have caused damage here. I said, “When you have a dragon in your neighborhood, it’s wise to include it in your plans.”  It’s true that we talk about the 1964 event that led to rebuilding and establishing the park. The 2011 event changed the harbor.

Day 106

Didn’t connect with parks and recreation yesterday. Will try again today. The wind has made walking a chore. It has gone on and on, night and day. I’m sure that’s why my head aches and my eyes are not happy. J street journals was a wonderful event. We three can share deeply and with comfort. It’s rare indeed to have such trusted friends. Chris played Hallelujah for us from her I-pad. I want a CD with Cohen or Wainright.

Day 105

List for Wally’s this morning. Much as I dislike shopping there, the only alternative is driving to Brookings. I wish Target would locate here. There are plenty of empty stores. Later, J Street Journals at Chris’ house. I enjoy our monthly get-togethers. Chris and Carol are special women. I need to get busy on July’s column for Senior News. I have ideas that need research for the theme, Homebase. Local summer events are plentiful such as softball and disk-golf.

Day 104

Had an encounter with a large dog on my way home from farmers’ market. It growled and barked at me. I called two homeless men on bikes for help. One of them moved the dog back down the street and the other walked me home. The dog was Donna Westphal’s from down the street. I gave them half my loaf of bread from the market. I had whistle and pepper spray but didn’t feel strong enough to use them.

Day 103

Yesterday was fun. Had lunch with Julia and we took a ride afterwards to the harbor and along the ocean. There are huge yachts waiting out the wind. The extravagance is incredible. Today Hollie and I will meet at the farmers’ market. I’m looking forward to bringing home a bag full of fresh vegs. The market seems to be a social event too. I’m feeling words coming on for the paper journal. I will add a bit of doodling.

Day 102

I found a welcome back gift on my desk at the senior center. It was a nice gesture. The day went OK and I did get tired. I can do one day a week. I had two walks, one with dogs. Been pondering the lyrics to Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. It was suggested by Rob’s horoscope. It is a long song with ups and downs in mood exactly like life itself. I’ll share it at J street journals on Monday.

Day 101

I’m going back to the senior center after a month away. I will decide if I want to keep going or not. I realize that stress sets my progress back and I’m dedicated to forward progress. Yesterday I introduced pollywogs to their new pond. I want them to thrive here. I enjoy hearing frogs singing. Karen gave me a wonderful massage and I walked home without any aches. I’ll get a walk in before I dress for volunteer duty.

Day 100

I went to Rite-Aid to find the liquid iron that Denise uses and there it was, Geritol. I laughed out loud thinking of Lawrence Welk and his champagne bubble a-one-and-a two music. I’m now at the age of people that liked his program. Thankfully I’m a bit more modern. Museum duty today. I look forward to going there. There is no stress and the people are interesting. And it’s the first farmers’ market downtown. Hollie and I may go. 

Day 99

The Minnie alarm clock went off before 5 this morning. She has a way of making snuggling impossible. I had a few minutes to enjoy that wonderful time between awakening and dreaming. I had Maya Angelou’s words on my mind: “I am human. Therefore nothing human is foreign to me.” So, humans are all capable of being Hitler or Mother Teresa. That sure takes care of judgments. I will recall that when the homeless parade goes by my home. 

Day 98

Jon is making a labyrinth for Chris. It is an ambitious project and his plan is solid. They might make a frog pond too. Frogs are the environment equivalent of canaries in mines. Frogs are the green line and need to be supported. I have a blow-up pool and it won’t work. Today I will get a hard sided pool and put it under the rhody tree. Had an early catch-up call with Kelle. Way to start the day.

Day 97

New month, new haircut, new attitude, new ideas for moving forward. I’m going to make a frog pond in the backyard. I miss hearing them so I’ll hope to make frogs happy here. The early bird songs are the best alarm clock I can think of. When the Minnie alarm goes off about 5 am, I can listen for the soft waking up bird songs. Today, after church, I have a plan to get busy with a creative project.

Senior news column

June Fathers

My father had two passions: salmon fishing and growing flowers. He was very good at both pursuits. When I was a little girl I wanted to go fishing with him out on Humboldt Bay in his small boat but unfortunately as soon as the waves would move us up and down I was sea sick after about half an hour and he had to bring me back to the beach. I gave up trying after a couple of trips. The salmon steaks were welcome at the dining room table and I was sorry that I couldn’t have been there when he brought them in. I did better with the gardening. I have wonderful memories of following him around while he talked about the plants and instructed me on which were weeds that I could pull out and which were not to be touched. My father had a giant green thumb with fuchsias and begonias. He knew where they would be happy and how to feed and care for them. They seemed to bloom bigger and longer than any other peoples’ plants. Once I asked him his secret and he said he tipped his cigar ashes into the containers. Maybe that was the secret ingredient.

Years later on a visit to Crescent City, my father asked me to show him my garden. Outside were rows of carrots, cabbages, potatoes, chard, onions  and a wall of peas. “Where are the flowers?”, he asked. I gave him the cold hard economic facts of being a single parent with three teen-agers. “You can’t eat flowers.” He went to the pea patch and happily munched on the fresh pods. Later, thanks to one of my sons, we had fresh fish, not salmon, for dinner along with the produce from the backyard. I know my father was disappointed that I didn’t have any of the plants that thrive here like the ones he grew so well in Eureka.

Now I have the time and place for growing flowers. Once when I was watering the fuchsias, I swear I smelled cigar smoke. All I know for sure it that the plants were happy and more prolific than ever before. Along with flowers, I still have vegetables: peas, chard, green onions, spinach, and kale are growing in my garden. There is room in my garden for both flowers to nourish my soul and vegetables  to nourish my body.